8th March 2012
Dear Cassi,
Well, today I
started Fluoxetine a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. This in an effort
to quell the anger I feel and dispel the dread. I know that it will do
something but what I cannot say for sure. On the three occasions I have been
proscribed this medication I have mellowed and done well but never before have
I known what to do about my problems.
I must now
exhume the bodies of those souls whose ghost haunt me still. I have to recall
my bad times and in doing so take from them the emotional energies that they
hold. By reliving my pain and holding myself calm I will suppress my emotions
and desensitize myself.
The nature of
my need in this is to speak, but not necessarily for you to listen. As the
letters come they will be like tears from my eyes dropping onto the cold
ground. My pain and anguish will flow through them and away from me leaving me
purged. It will be a pus from a wound bursting forth and in its passing so much
a relief for my red and fevered skin.
Fluoxetine is
only a way of suppressing the emotions but it is not a cure. The cure is within
the self and I only use this medication to aid in healing. It cannot heal me
for only I can do such things.
Stay safe,
little sister
Richard Leland
Neal
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