Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Title says it all
22nd August 2006
Much has happened since my last entry. I found myself ill on Monday and could not attend school. However, I wonder if I’m being honest with myself over it. Yes I had a backache and nausea but I don’t know if that would have stopped me on a normal day. It is entirely possible that I’m just embarrassed to go back to school after all that has happened there.
Not that I dead anything foolish but more that I have not moved on. It makes little cents to comity on this semester, as I will gain little from this experience, but as I have nothing better to do. I certainly hope that all will go well in SCU Fullerton but this augers ill for there can be no greater enemy the poor health.
In other new Alan(the man I do not call father) has taken ill, he is in the hospital because of high blood presser. It’s funny in a way as I’m numb to it now. How should I feel about this man the left me to ruin? What would be the right course? If I’m a god-fearing man then I do nothing for him by taking concern. Surly he has sealed his own damnation with is actions or is he merely to ignorant to know how to behave?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
One of the things I have always done is try idiotic things to improve myself. The big problem with that is that no matter how motivated I am I have so much going on that I can never find the time to do half the work I should. I never learned any of the topics I talk about in this Journal, but I tell you this much I sat up with text books for no good reason many a time.
I would like to blame my failure to thrive on my depression but I was unwilling to make the radical changes in my life that needed to overcome the disease.
Would I want back the nearly six years of my life between my writing this and my posting it? Absolutely, but I’d rather be 26 in 2012 than go back to that time.
19th August 2006
It has come to me that the fees of the university will nothing like those of my present school and in being such I will have to prepare myself better. From what I read the University Fullerton charges on full or part time student hood as opposed to by the unit as my current college. Moreover, that full time for them is seven units and more. This may be a plea to the student to get out of the school as fast as possible. I have only planed for seven units at the college this semester and thus must find some eight to eleven more worth of work to prepare myself as well as reconstructing my living condition for optimal use of time and seeing to my health.
Thus I’m taking in the course materials for short hand, speed reading, and Hebrew, those compiled with my other work should be a sufficient simulation. It will be in no way easy because of the vast a amount of clutter in my life but then I have lived with it thus far and life has never been easy for me.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
13th January 2012
Another of the ghost of my memory moaned today. I remember this one occasion where I was foolish enough to watch as another child was roughed up by a group of his school mates. They drew no blood mind you. It was all just make believe that went too far.
I forget what offence this unfortunate young man committed to anger the other seven year olds. However, I know it had something to do with a contract. They surrounded him and twisted his arm but went little further than that. The anger on his face is what I recall.
They took his contract, I think it was written on notebook paper, spit on it, rubbed it on the ground and then on his face. Children can be so cruel but this happened in the school yard so the teachers are not without blame.
I remember there was this green ball of snot coming out of his nose and he thought it was blood. He fumed when he felt it and reached up then looked at his hand. It looked like his head would explode.
The next day it was like nothing ever happened. I have trouble understanding that now days. Then again this was the child that showed another kid his butt on a dare. He got over it and from what I know he is doing well. Then, he hasn’t called in more than ten years.
Stay safe, Cassi
Richard Leland Neal
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Define the terms imaginary audience, personal fable, invincibility fable, foreclosure, moratorium and diffusion using your own adolescence to provide examples of each.
Imaginary Audience: The condition where a person believes that the world should be as interested or concerned with them as they are (p.301). As a theater student I always believed that my teachers should be as interested in my success as I am if for no other reason than I paid them. Honestly, I still believe that but I fear the world disagrees.
Personal Fable: The condition where a person thinks too much of themselves, believes that they have an over important role to play in the world, or thinks that their experiences are completely and totally unique (p.301). I can recall this when I wrote my first full length play. It was science fiction and I thought that this had never been done before, but I was wrong. The word Robot was coined in a play and many of the big production scripts could be called Sci Fi. Look at ‘Cats’ where a cat is taken away by space ship or ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ where an alien takes over the world.
Invincibility Fable: the perceptual error where a person believes they are invincible and unstoppable (p.301). I was once on a walk with my father and a runaway horse came by with a second horse, this one with rider, short behind calling ‘stop the horse, stop the horse!’ My first thought was to grab the saddle as the horse ran by and put my foot into the stirrup. Then I would pull myself up. I will grant I could have been killed, but to be honest at the time I felt I had no reason to live.
Foreclosure: The condition where a person conforms to norms without exploring alternatives (p.304). The only place where I can say that I did this was water polo where I put on the Speedo as part of being on the team. I never liked the thing and they had little longevity, but I never looked for an alternative.
Moratorium: This is the state where in a person is actively looking for who they are but are confused and working overtime to define themselves(p.304). I noted this in my early college days. One week I wanted to be a photographer and the next an engineer. I lost years of my life to these changes in mind.
Diffusion: A point where a person has yet to make a firm life choice but is not active in exploring possible choices. (P. 303) The danger here being that the person may be susceptible to group influence like that of a gang. I once had this problem and turned to my name as an idea of who I am. I wrote my name as R.L. Neal, I was called Neal, but I proffered Richard. Still there were people who called me Rick. To my friends and myself Rick was a person who was worthy of abuse and so I expected abuse as part of life until I refused to hang around with those who called me Rick.
Broderick, P. & Blewett, P. (2010). The Life Span: Human Development for Helping Professionals. New York: Prentice-Hall Publishers.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
“Whenever the people are well-informed they can be trusted with their own government.” Thomas Jefferson: as quoted in Time Magazine August 14, 2006
15th August 2006
Today I submitted my application for California State University Fullerton. Frankly, it should have been submitted of August 1st but as the time has passed nothing more can be done. I’ve had quite the trouble with this application and it’s been more than a year from the day I made the commitment to apply. I don’t know if there is much of a point to this foolishness many of us in the modern day find our degrees useless and I may be in that category.
To add to the matter I have submitted my paper work for graduation from Fullerton College and have made it totally clear that all my information is in order. What I will do with my AA I don’t know but as it will bolster my resume it can’t hurt. It’s funny that I’m at the mean age for the student body of Fullerton yet I believe I’ll be something of an old man at the Cal State.
I have no one to blame for my procrastination in life but myself at this point. At twenty-two perhaps I could say something twenty-four my argument has grown week but at twenty-six I’m just a procrastinator. The reason for my procrastination is a general feeling of unpreparedness. No more screwing around when I get to the university. I have to pay more for my college experience and that makes all the difference.
Will there be much of a difference or will it just cost more? In the end we simply ask questions and weight for answers. What more can be done?
Monday, February 20, 2012
This paper is an important one because looking up what I’m going to school for has given me second thoughts about getting my Masters. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my future but at least now I know where to look.
Ohio is a fictional client, but his case is based on common qualities of clients who have suffered homelessness and related problems.
Ohio came to my office for observation as a standard operating procedure before his induction into the program. As the client had trouble sleeping in became clear that he needed to be engaged on a topic that made him comfortable to place him at a lull and permit him to node off. In that vein I told him to think of his coming to my shelter as a flat tire on the road to the rest of his life, and that he should think about what to do to get moving again.
Ohio stated that he might like to work as a janitor because when he was in high school he knew a janitor named Rob who he had a positive relationship with. As I know a paid job training program for this exists I expressed that Ohio would benefit from the honest work and that we could likely help him to this occupation.
I accessed the Bureau of Labor Statistics for him (http://www.bls.gov/oco) and noted that he would be able to start this job without further training. Here I noted that the low end workers in this area had seen the largest projected then year job growth of twelve percent and that the other areas had a projection of around five.
I also noted that he would likely start at the California minimum wage but that he could find better employment with more experience making as much as twelve dollars an hour at a government site or around a dollar less than that at a hospital or college. I likewise informed him that management in these jobs paid well and if he planned to stay in that line of work management should be his goal.
www.acinet.org confirmed notation of pay scale from the .gov but added that often workers may start with only a few days a week, would work at night, and that moving on to a higher paying union job will often depend on experience.
This, I explained to him, should present no worry as so long as he lived in the shelter he had free food, clothing, and rent so part time work would be fine. They would help him find a better job even if he had one and would keep working with him for some time.
From http://www.onetonline.org/ I read off the physical requirements of the job to him.
Trunk Strength — The ability to use your abdominal and lower back muscles to support part of the body repeatedly or continuously over time without 'giving out' or fatiguing.
Extent Flexibility — The ability to bend, stretch, twist, or reach with your body, arms, and/or legs.
Manual Dexterity — The ability to quickly move your hand, your hand together with your arm, or your two hands to grasp, manipulate, or assemble objects.
Oral Comprehension — The ability to listen to and understand information and ideas presented through spoken words and sentences.
Static Strength — The ability to exert maximum muscle force to lift, push, pull, or carry objects.
Near Vision — The ability to see details at close range (within a few feet of the observer).
Oral Expression — The ability to communicate information and ideas in speaking so others will understand.
We then agreed that he would talk to the employment department in the morning and he quickly drifted off to sleep.
O*Net Online (2012). Occupation Search. Social. Conventional. Enterprising. http://www.onetonline.org.
CareerInfoNet Online (2012). Occupation Search. http://www.acinet.org.
The Occupational Outlook Handbook (2010-11 Edition). Occupation Search. http://www. bls.gov/oco.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Short one fore you today, if I have time I’ll post another to make it up to you.
This is another of my grad school essays. I do have to say that as all my classmates have to read my work shorter is better. It would be Rude of me to post long things in class.
The most popular boy in high school who is a senior asks your physically matured freshman daughter to the prom. She is normally very self conscious about her appearance and often depressed, but she is now very excited about the attention and is the talk of the school. Do you allow this date? Why or why not?
Point one: my daughter’s depression implies that I am a bad parent. This issue should be addressed first and foremost.
Point two: An emotionally vulnerable fourteen year old should not be alone with an eighteen year old. If they had sex it would be a crime in the state of California. Prom is an occasion were sex in expected as a societal norm so the answer is no. I would not be comfortable with my fourteen year old being sexually active with a man four years older than her. I would not be comfortable with her being sexually active at that age.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Here are three comments I made in the online classrooms for grad school. I know this has been way too much about brad school over the past few weeks and I’m sorry for that, but it is a big part of my life.
You know, (Student 1), the trouble with emotional regulation in children is that they cannot understand the biological processes that go into feelings. I can’t count how many times I have had to advise parents about the dangers of caffeine and young children or the effects of large amounts of salt on mood.
The average American child has mental problems because their body is pounded with poisons every day as parents haven’t the knowledge to understand what they are putting in their children’s bodies.
Comment 2: This was in response to folks calling my work simple and easy to understand. I think they were calling me dumb but who knows.
It will never stop amazing me how textbooks can take a topic someone is truly invested in and make it dry and dull. I always told myself that if I wrote textbooks I would write them to be relevant, interesting, and short.
I thank you all for letting me know that I have done that in this case and I mention that it is our duty to write papers well because we all have to read them.
My illness over the past few weeks took a toll on my work, but it pleases me to know that I was not completely without merit.
Comment 3: This was another point where someone had commented on my work stating that it was so very simplistic.
You know, (student 3), as one of the least, yet most diversely, educated people in this school I have seen the word simple applied to my work a surprising number of times. I believe it was five by week three.
I think this comes from explaining things to those who need to know rather than to those who already know.
Every night I have a conversation that may change a life but it is often with a person who operates from a limited understanding due to the hardships they have suffered.
Still, I do believe that every hour at you work you have conversations that change lives. This leads me to ask: how much time you use to explain why things are done to your clients? When I explain anger management I tell them how to undermine the emotional feedback loop, and then I explain how that loop works so that they trust my advice.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The 12th of August 2006
Today was a dark day indeed; Alan brought his wife to my home.
Alan is the man who I will never again call father nor his children my siblings. I’m a man without family so that all history of family must start with me. I am a Jew and hold that to be my belief and I know that my mother, the only real family I ever had, was of the blood of the Hebrew and that her father survived the holocaust by immigrating to America.
When my mother died at 49 she had no choice but to leave me in the care of this greedy idiot who, paid to care for his children and myself, failed miserably to do so. He decided that my home needed work so he ripped out good flooring of carpet and covered over hard wood with acrylic tiles. I can count the days it lasted on my fingers. He did try to make the tile work by reinstalling it. Again, if fell apart within days and he gave up on making repairs to my home. I must make assumptions at this point that he did this to find things to pay his sister for, who was named executer of the estate because of Alan’s unsuitability, as many of his relative complied that she was not paid for her services. They raised the subject because they felt that I should believe she had not been paid when the truth is that she has.
Over the next eight years Alan purchase thousands of dollars in exercise equipment so that his son, Paul, could “feel good about himself” and left my home to rot.
Honestly, I don’t believe he did it for Paul. I think he did it for him. He wanted to spend money on that equipment.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
This is another of those Grad school mini essays. I write about five of these a week so to post them all I would do nothing but post these.
Am I right? You tell me.
What does it mean that it takes a village to raise a child? Explain.
The most noted part of this in the modern day is that a child will be most influenced by those that child spends the most time with likely their peers. Thus the combined parenting techniques used by all the parents in the village, or environment, will be reflected in the youth.
We can also note that malefactors in the environment have much to do with the children and their well being. In order for children to get their hands on drugs, for example, they must first be exposed to drugs. This would indicate that someone in this environment has been using drugs or had access to drugs and profits from their sale. Even the condition where children sniff markers or other inhalants imply that these children must first gain access to these supplies and then be unsupervised while using them. W may also note that the modification of behavior from the used of these drugs would not go unnoticed in a well monitored system.
It takes a village to raise a child because the whole village has an impact on that child. It takes a people to keep a person. We should always be aware of the fact that never in our live do our actions have no impact.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The 10th August 2006
Today the two other owners of my home and I discussed the issue of repairs and determined that no more of Ken’s concrete is to be poured. Ken is well meaning, but he asks no approval when he modifies a home that is not his and once more he expects to be reimbursed for the materials no one asked him to perches. It is a wound to me that he has purchased parts for my computer desk that I did not ask for, insisted that he will install them and yet has failed to do so in more than one year’s time. Once more, I insisted that a different material was to be used. With witch the work would have been easier and faster, but he insisted, and the work has not been done.
Then there are the doors that he perched that still sit in his garage unused. I fear that I will soon have to ask for one of them, as they are paid for, and he will then insist upon installing the door regardless of the fact that I will need it done quickly.
To conclude the issue of the concrete I instructed Paul to tell Ken that any more slabs would be removed by hammer, and that he is not to install sprinklers either as we haven’t the money for this type of repair.
If there is one thing that has been made absolutely clear to me it is that I must remove myself from this home. Unfortunately as the housing market has fallen it will be some time before a selling will be of any good idea. As this is true I must first perches a home to be the place of my family or buy this home off with the market poor as it is.
It’s said that home coast stands in a ten year of rise and fall and fall is what has just happened I really need take hast. In any case I must attend the matters of the day thus I conclude.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Got a new one for you but it is a forum post but we have taken to writing full on letters at this point. You kind of need to have read the assignment and the response to said assignment.
Still, this is a telling letter.
(fellow grad student),
I will say that the highest grade I earned in college was an A+ in screen writing because I paid a thousand dollars for those three units and the professor said he would find a production company to send my work to.
When the class was to turn in ten pages I turned in my first draft. I could have passed that day with a C. For the duration of the semester I waited for the teacher to get my work read always turning in revisions the next day. Not the next class. We turned our work in digitally so I would normally have it for him within six hours.
I learned that I was very very good at work that I felt would directly help my situation.
He never found a company for me and he never finished reading my script the last time. In the state of California this would be called ‘breach of contract’ and that school would now be liable.
I note that I am very good at being a Security Officer, a counselor, a cook, a friend, and a writer. On the other hand I have never been good at being alive. Go figure.
I will also tell you that the last time I exhibited suicidal tendencies was in 2004 or 5 when I was willing to die to stop my father from lying to me again. I haven’t spoken to him in these last seven years.
Get well soon, stay well long
Richard Leland Neal
Monday, February 13, 2012
This is a grad school mini essay. Take what I say with a grain of salt or reject it completely. Up to you.
What is your opinion on schools that educate adolescence to be abstinent and that take a zero tolerance drug position?
A two part question on what are only loosely related topics. Abstinence is an unrealistic goal and sets an unrealistic president. In addition, it creates in the practitioner a buildup of sexual energy and anxiety.
Sex is not in its nature wrong. Sex is a necessary part of human existence and it was viewed as wrong in the past only because of the consequences. I do believe a man should never have sex with a woman he is unwilling to have children with and that picking someone up at a bar for a one night stand spreads diseases.
However, these actions in and of themselves cannot be made illegal and should be discouraged on the bases of what may happen and societal impact. Giving people an idea of all or nothing will simply challenge many to choose all. The teaching of abstinence promotes a social backlash and leads to greater problems than teaching and understanding of sex.
Drugs are a more complicated topic. If you define drugs as ‘anything put in the body other than food or water that makes a chemical change’ soda, juice, and punch being food, then the idea is unobtainable.
Zero tolerance toward illegal drugs is neither here nor there in nature. People may shy away from drugs because of the consequences. Keeping drugs out of schools is a good idea.
We know from behavior theories that rewarding good behavior is better than punishing bad so this idea will help few. Moreover, it is important to note that teaching students why drugs are prohibited is more important than the fact that they are prohibited.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
I recall this night with some clarity as the Account Manager in question smelled like he had failed to shower of replace his undergarments in some time. Yes, my boss came to give me a back pay check and he smelled like crap when he did. Pay roll skimming had been an issue for some reason on this account and they expected us to believe it was all a misunderstanding.
I recall a story about a Guard who was given a pay increase by the client. The client came out and talked with the Guard and found that the increase was only half what had been allocated. This was the second time a major payroll ‘error’ came up that I heard about on this account.
I remember the Manager making a comment about uniforms. It was his responsibility to replace the uniforms of Security Officers. I recall him saying “You could go to the office,” which I took to mean that he felt it was my responsibility to replace the uniforms of officers that were not under my supervision. On this account I was the most senior S/O, be we had a site supervisor. That would mean that if I took it upon myself to look after the uniforms of the Guards I would have been overstepping my authority.
It is my impression, and only my impression, that the company felt if they had the charity to permit us to make them money we should be happy with what they gave us, and that they should give us as little support as possible.
The 9th of August 2006
Today was a strange day. It was at two ten in the morning that the Roving Account Manager for (my company) arrived from my office to issue a check for my back pay. He stated that the client had given all my officers a fifty cent raise some time ago but that we have never received it.
This is a small boon to my officers, but it is good for morale and any raise is truly a good one. Moreover, this raise has prompted one officer to repay a small debt of nine dollars of which he insisted I take ten. It would appear as if we are then all in good spirits and the future is hopeful.
This changes nothing of the fact that the totality of my labors are to remove myself from this job and life and, hopefully, to ascend. I find it necessary to remind myself of my goal in private life. That would be to establish myself as an educated man. To raise family and insure that this family has none of the misery that I have lived with these 26 years.
Friday, February 10, 2012
I found this file today and it contains a journal with around eight entries detailing my life in August of 2006. I hope all those entries are worth posting.
I do recall this in the time past my blotted sister’s exodus, but before her taking of her cats. I have never been able to fathom the cruelty of which my sister is capable but that’s a story for another time. I was inspired to write down this event because it was so interesting.
The 6th of August 2006
It is on this date that a strange event took place. I had come home from work that morning and gone about my business of preparing meals to frees for future use. I had retrieved tomatoes and chilies form my garden and had made ready the blender. I had left the kitchen to turn on the computer and on returning found Trouble my youngest cat on the stove.
I picked him up and stroked his back as he mewed happily all the while keeping his eyes on the stove vent. It was then that I heard a scurrying or scratching coming from the vent. It was apparent that a living animal, rat or bird, had somehow gotten into the vent and was trapped. After some searching in the junk of my home I found a flat headed screw driver and removed the fan from vent and there encountered another obstacle. It was a trap composed of two doors designed to allow material only to leave upwards so that nothing from the exterior could fall on food being prepared.
With goggles to protect my eyes I made several attempts to open this and peer within to see what manner of creature had invaded my home. It was on one of these attempts that I saw a wing briefly thrust thought the trap. Prodding with a long pole I tried to lure the bird down to the trap where I could reach it and hopefully free the animal. At this it flew down to me and I could see that it was a small bird, brown with white spot on its breast, a black beak and small head.
Unable to free the bird this way I pushed up on the trap and dislodged the pipe that made up the body of the vent. I then brought the pipe down and the bird flew free in my home until it found the front door where it resumed its life in the wild. For some hours I was employed in the cleaning of the pipe and fan and had yet to replace it above the stove.
I made inquiry to Ken who lives across the street from me and is more knowledgeable in the way of birds then myself. He told me that the bird I described sounded like a female gecko. When I pointed out that this was a lizard he amended his identification to Greco (I believe the name is Greckle and he pronounced it incorrectly) the male being black with yellow eyes like Trouble.
In the Eastern world it was once a sign of good luck to be visited by a bird. I wonder how I should take this visit. Perhaps I should view this as a metaphor for my life. As it were I’m clearly trapped. But am I like the bird unable to get free of my own? Or should I take the nature of the animal to be like my own? The bird could truly not survive long in the vent as birds must eat more than their body weight every day to live. Should I take note and make haste less I find myself dead of the soul?
The incident with the bird was severely lengthened by the dirt and garbage in my home. I have long planed to remove it, but with such problems in my life and the long hours I work cleaning takes a back seat. On cleaning my kitchen after the debris of freeing the bird I found rotting fruit and vegetable matter on the counter under the forgotten dishes and shopping bags.
On arriving at work that night Officer Hicks, the most junior of my guard told me that on hearing that I intended on going to the office of my company to discus pay problems that all my other officers had planned to attend with me. Clearly the action is mine to make but I am lost in the many needs of my life and without direction. Lord point me straight.
I may also mention that Ken had been laying concrete in my back yard and I gave him eighty dollars as compensation for materials and asked that he keep the hours of his labor noted so that he could be compensated open the event of the sale of my home. He stated that Paul one of the other two owners had agreed to pay for materials but been slow to give up the money.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
I recall this only in a fleeting way and by the nature of my fragmented mind I have little understanding of what made me think this was a passable journal entry for class. Then I recall I got an A++ in that class as I had completed more than one hundred percent of the class material.
This was a journal assignment that the teacher graded on the fact that it was turned in at all. I could have scribbled on cardboard and he would have accepted it without a word. It was one of five assignments that I had to do three of and I did all five.
At the time I loved theater and theater loved me. That all changed in college but as I wrote back then ‘what can you do?’
This week I believe I was very productive; the majority of my time was used on erecting a door for the Latino Theater. It was a lot to endure considering it was a complete wreck but what can you do? I hope we repaint it because the paint on it has been scratched horrifically. We can't use it for the house of any well off family that’s for sure.
I started on the lighting for that project as well, but I think we need more red gels for the set plan but Steve can't make up his mind. He wants a very particular set up that I call "moon light and fire light". It’s just a combination of red and blue lights but Steve thinks it’s to complicated for him it just a simple rig. Just 3 plugs but no now he just wants blue yesterday he wonted green. Someone straiten that kid out.
I did some painting this week in addition to my normal bust to the wall painters. I only got one chair done. It’s not much nor is it all. I have worked at all things this week.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
This letter was never mailed because it was never finished I was just to busted up at the time and I couldn’t get much of anything done.
Let me be honest here, I was trying to use my injury at work to gain sympathy from my professors, but the addressee was a hard feminist and as I’m a male she had no use for me. Or that’s what her male underlings said. I do have to admit she hired a few teachers, all of them female, who were unready to work as professors.
It is possible however that their foul teaching style was due to their greenness and the fact that they were theater teachers.
I would like to make the point that the reason for an education to provide the economy with able bodied workers with the brains to do the job. Theater education on the other hand is welfare for hippies who don’t want to admit that they are hippies.
3rd March 2008
Dear (Theatre Arts Department Chair),
Sitting here wondering how I’m going to get my homework done during tech week I remembered that need some advice? Help? I don’t really know how to put it. I tried discussing these issues with (My advisor) but she can’t seem to give me definitive answers. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be bothering you with this stuff but I really have no one else.
I had hoped to slow down and take less units because of the problems I’m having working full time and going to school but then I got injured at work. I held post for six hours soaked to the skin in my own blood and had to do a lot of thinking about the future.
Basically, every time I ask about getting a job with my degree people keep telling me that “no one does this for the money.” Look, I’m a security guard for the money, and I think if you told your teachers they wouldn’t get paid they’d stop coming to class.
Now, if I’m not going to be able to support myself with a degree in theatre then I need to commit to a second major, and I need to do so before the summer.
I did try play writing as a supplement. Figured that I’d get my name out there with live theatre then move on to movies. It was a long shot but gave me at least some justification to take an extra year in getting my degree, but that was a disaster.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Yesterday’s post was one where I explained this blog but I think this was the only one I wrote. At this point work got crazy and I was pulling eighty hour work weeks.
For those who have never been healthy gaining good health will always be hard. I spent the next weeks at this job too overworked to perform my at work workouts. Then the company lost the contract.
On the next job I didn’t have water bottles to work out with, but I did have loads of work to do so it made no difference. Security guards are always trying to get something related to their life done at work. I’ve seen guards cook on a bbq, train togs, play instruments, nit, play video games, and run printing equipment. The level of WTF is unfathomable.
What I did was nothing abnormal. It’s just too bad I couldn’t keep it up.
16th December 2005
Exercises: 10 3by3 sets
Given that I must start using the specific jargon of my workouts this must be the time to explain them. I have three workout forums, my work, my home, my gym. Each has its own uses, but it is the combination of all of them that in important in achieving results.
The primary use of my work for fitness is maintenance. There are exercises that I can do at work that help me to maintain my level of fitness. The exercise I have begun with is the 3by3 or three gallon workout. You start with a three-gallon jug of water full all the way to the top and caped then you do ten pullovers, ten curls, and ten “strait up” lifts each arm.
Guess I never finished this blog. Well I never checked to see if it was posted on Myspace. Not even sure I can get into my Myspcae account any longer to check
Monday, February 6, 2012
So, when I was twenty pounds lighter I wrote this as a blog and that now all but forgotten social network MySpace. I always looked at journaling as a way of documenting and evaluating my life and it never worked out that way.
Well, I found that the people in my life didn’t want me to be happy and healthy and that was the reason for my problems. I have less people in my life now but I’m still having trouble turning things around.
15th December 2005
I’m no good at this journal stuff, and blogs are still a new thing for me, but I milled it over with some of you hard-core Myspacers out there and figured this was a good idea.
To start things off I have a problem, at 285 pounds I could make a reasonable stand in for Fat Bastard, every time I try to sprint I bust a shin splint, and finding belts has gotten to be a real embarrassing exercise. So my intention with this blog is to record my feeble workout program in order to embarrass myself into good health.
Let me start with what I know. What is the problem? I’m over weight. What causes this problem? I have no time for exercise, a bad diet, and (the biggest problem) a psychological condition that makes me feel hungry when I’m not. I know, I know now a day’s every one claims to have something wrong with their head that makes them what they are. Everyone has ADD or PTSD or some other problem. As for myself I’m not going to bother putting a name on whatever it is I have. Let’s just call it stress and say that I may or may not be taking Prozac for it. However, I have a limited supply of Prozac and once I’ve used it up I will have no more.
Why? The point of medication is to treat illness that’s how drug companies make their money. I don’t feel I need a treatment I need a cure. Every day I will be recording my workouts, consumption of food and supplements, and sleep. I will also be blogging some of the things I do to relieve stress in my environment.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
14th January 2012
When I was a boy my mother bred boxers. They were big lovable dogs to my young eyes and even as I have little memory of the three dogs that belonged to her they are still a fond thought. She named them Bessy, Beoly, and Butch. Butch the only male was the last and only dog to die of old age.
Bessy and Beoly met tragic ends. One was killed by a car when she ran into the street. The other dog ran into a burglar who kicked her in the jaw and killed her. She would have torn into him, I’m sure, but he wasn’t even steeling from my house.
Well, as I said old Butch was the last of my mother’s dogs to walk this world. In his old age he developed tumors on his paws that broke open and bled. Old Butch was not one to whimper, so he never made much mind of them.
I recall the day he passed. I had just gotten those dog treats that look like little O bone stakes and had put them out for him when he just lay down. His eyes were open and to my young mind I had no idea what to think of his lethargy. I tried to put a dog treat in his mouth, but he sat still.
My mother came out and took him away and told me that he had died. Mom was never one to mess about with facts. She never told us about the tooth fairy, and she never said that our dog would go to heaven.
All things that live must someday die, and Butch had a good death. I recall no tears for the old dog as his passing was so slalom and gentle. We should all hope to go so well.
Stay safe, Cassi,
Richard Leland Neal