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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Reset My Brain

21th May 2012

Dear Cassi,

One of the funny thoughts that ran through my head today was that there was a time when people thought that cold could reset the human brain. This was something done to the mentally ill when they could not be controlled. I believe the practice is Russian, but don’t hold me to that as fact.
I’m told that what one did was have a tub full of ice that the patient or victim could be zipped into forcing them to feel the intense cold. This was supposed to work like pulling the plug on your computer when it is miss behaving.
This came to mind because of my own malfunctioning brain that the fact the heat has always been my off switch. On the hottest days I can do nothing but sit with the fan drying my perspiration.
Today, however, I couldn’t tell you why I’ve felt so useless, but my body just felt like it was fevered. What time I didn’t spend in bed I spent in front of the computer goofing off. With the overwhelming workload that still looms ahead of me I need to focus.
I’m doing better, true, but the bits of my home only peak out from the trash and misused equipment. There are times that I sit with the fans passing air over me hoping that the cold I feel from them will reset my brain. It never happens that way but you know what happens if you hope in one hand.

Live every day, little sister

Richard Leland Neal

Friday, May 17, 2013

Goes the Clock

27th August 2012
Dear Cassi,
The clock has nearly found its way to eleven in the morning and the workmen have not come to finish the job. I have made for them all the preparations I can in draping and in cooling my home.
So I take this moment to point to anther bit of my life that has turned so ill: grad school. It started two weeks ago when I turned in a paper. No, it started some time ago when I learned what a mental health consoler makes, but I digress.
The assignment came with more than a hundred pages of reading for the week and I, feeling much heat and exposition, did my best to hurry. Little of what I read at the beginning was of any facts and little at the end. I took what words I knew and expanded on them hoping to make something passable.
I was not so lucky and the teacher pulled the assignment off the on line forum and I had to do it again. This went along with a call from the president of the institute telling me that I needed to improve but that an LPCC makes around forty five to sixty thousand a year.
I don’t believe him, but what can I do. I started this mess and I guess I should finish it but the quality of education I’ve been dealing with his worse than I imagined. In the class I’m taking I have read from the text book twice. The paper in question was on a hundred and thirty page article that I had a good amount of trouble with and even the Dean was surprised it had been assigned.
This is the modern world where the teachers run as much and the students pay for the short coming. What do we do to better ourselves in a world for of folks who have no right to call themselves better? The modern age has given us a lack of regulation and respect.

Find your truth, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

Monday, May 13, 2013

Not Sure

I think I’ve posted this before but I found the fine and in having to delete it decided to post it again as I am not entirely certain.
To be fully honest, Christine, I far more often absorb energy from a violent case than redirect it physically. I tend to calm them down before they try to hit me if that makes sense. Aggression is a feedback loop that needs to be broken so how I talk to clients is more important most of the time.

Most of my coworkers prefer to try and be the bigger dog in the fight but I would rather keep folks in line by cooperation.  There will always be situations where violence is the only answer but most of my clients operate with respect for me because I use mutual respect in dealing with them.

Greetings Richard

   Thank you for submitting this paper. I twas an interesting approach of introducing your experience with Aikido and then applying that to a larger picture. You talked about testing the validity of healing methods. From that I gather that you look at therapy with a skeptical/analytical eye, a good way to go about it.
 Walter Charley,PhD.

One of the things we learn in physics, Dr. Charley, is that often the same event can be viewed and described more than one way and that both descriptions can be rather accurate.  You are right in calling me a skeptic only if you mean it in the classic sense. I question for the sake of questioning facts long held so that in doing so I will understand them.

From my studies in psychology I have learned that the good parent does not simply tell their children how to act but explains the reason behind those actions. I have learned this to also be the case with a good supervisor or anyone so placed to lead others. As I have worked with those who have anger problems I have found it quite helpful to explained the biological mechanisms for anger management and in doing so I have given my clients more freedom with which to help themselves.  The engineer need know the how and why of his workings and so the mechanic to do their work well.

In the world of mental health I prefer not to tell clients what to do but rather help them come to a conclusion they can live with comfortably.  Were I to be so overbearing as to tell clients how to live their lives there future problems would fall on my head and not theirs. Thus we permit them to move in what way they will and give them the skills with which to decide for themselves.

In my passing, I have worked with many true believers and found them to be a hard to help bunch. The true believer who believes in god is often no more of good folk than the one who is a true believer in no god. Further, I am no Christian but have explained Christianity to good Christian folk who hungrily wanted to know and found their faith affirmed by my words.

An examination of history, the history of science most clearly, will yield a point that even the most ridiculous ideas often should be discounted not off hand but by the same logic we deduce any other thing as right and wrong. Did we not at one time thing the sun revolved around the earth and now see it differently? History is littered with fact becoming fiction and fiction becoming fact. By looking deeper I believe I get more out of my studies, and by reading my work you can tell me if this is true.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Troll Away

you suck bro.people troll on the internet because of retarded people like you who completely make shit up like dumb mustard stories and waste my time by acting like the story eventually has a solid point when in fact your whole video was an opinion.
your the kid in the class that tried to finish every teachers sentence and act like you know what ur talkin act like you know everything when its all opinion based with no fact to back up your accusations.

My reply:
Or I’m a man with a degree in psychology who read the research and knows what he is talking about.  You can dream all you want, dude, but I’m into chicks so no go on the sucking. Thanks for expressing your opinion in so colorful a way. I always laugh at the angry responses I get to this video. You’ve truly made my day. ;) 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

On Culture and Time

I found these two blurbs from grad school on one of my flash drives and had to delete them. I can’t tell when they were from but know they date back to 2012. They come from a class on psychology and culture and sorely should be developed more clearly. A funny thing about grad school was that I had my way of doing things down when I finally decided that it wasn’t for me.

As it is true, Dr. Metrick, that the Medicine Wheel and this example fits aboriginal peoples of much of North America I do believe that the God’s Eye of Mexico is another version of the same concept. I will grant that the conquest of Latin America by Spain has left most of the Latinos Catholic. Still, there are many echoes of their native culture.

I intend to use the example of the Medicine Wheel to explain to clients why they need to curb their drug abuse citing that the spirit and emotion aspect of the wheel come into play.

Unfortunately, more often than I learn about my client’s culture I find myself teaching them about who their people are and how they can benefit from the knowing. This helps them feel as if they have gained something from our time together and instills confidence in their treatment.

I do recall some time ago, Robert, reading an article about culture and time and how some cultures view time as until an activity is completed. That would be in the way of our time model goes as “I need to be at work at nine” but their time model would be “I go to work when I finish eating.” The larger issue however is that modern life depents to some extent on how we view time so those cultures with the second modle has been looking to change things.

Monday, May 6, 2013


12th August 2012
My dear Cassi,

This time is spent in procrastination for as I look at my half finished letter to you from the day before I finish it not to put down this fresh thought before it toddles off. Once again there is much I should be doing at this moment including other letters, my comics, my wash, my schoolwork, and any host of other bits I will not name.
I have left things so neglect mostly because of the heat which placed me in poor slumber for the most of the proceeding day. From this faint coma I woke with sick gut and pained back. My eyes were blurred for some hours, but still the vivid dreams of scaly things marched across my mind.
It was in not yesterday that Pickles asked if he should do the dishes as I had been too overheated to work much on them. This comment drew my anger as I had told him before and now told him again “you are and adult and should know when to do dishes”.

Tell me it isn’t true

Richard Leland Neal

Friday, May 3, 2013

Old Fans

8th August 2012

Dear Cassi,

It should come as no surprise to me that the ventilator fans in my addict had seized and that they were original to the home. After all the arguments we had about that business back in the day I was told that it was taken care of, but I guess wherever there is doubt there is no doubt.
The electrician worked on my roof and took out the old fans. The bolts that held them to my home cracked when removed as if old stone pillars giving out after the untold years. So far as I can see those bolts were in place for the whole of my life. They had rusted away and only through some hard will had held this long.

The fan motors had the old brown paint used when folks still thought wood trim made things fancy. These things had been made during the Cold War when the sleek black electronics of today would have reminded folks of Russian missals.  

When the new motors were in the electrician said that he would wait until the cool of the next day to replace the fan covers as he needed new bolts. This let me see the fans moving as if they were happy to be on after so long a time still. Even as I left for work that night they still ran humming along with a marry sound.

There have been many days of miserable heat for me, and now I find another reason as to why that happened. Sometimes it feels like my life was custom made for suffering. The pointless little misstep that should be handled easily never gets seen to in any real way.
I recall that Ken, who lives across the street, had told me to have the ventilator fans replaced when the roof was done and Alan had found some contractor form his church to do the work. He was a man obsessed with getting work done cheaply as this was a home inhabited by his children and he had no concern for their well being.

At this time I was in my late teens because I was still working for burns security.  Further I had to be working out of the branches local to my area because of the posts I was working at the time and so I believe I was nineteen. In any case I believe some money had come down a generation or two and so hand landed in Alan’s lap. He put it to putting a new substandard roof on my house.

I’ve been told that I should be thankful he did anything for me, but it was his responsibility to see to my needs until the age of eighteen and having failed that I feel he owed me something.  I’m of the opinion that things should be looked after. I find myself alone in that but my opinion is unchanged.

Pony Girl asked to have the fans replaced but there was an issue with communication. She had asked for ceiling fans to be replaced rather than asking for ventilator fans and so an argument had come along for some days until I talked to the workers and cleared things up. Lot of good that did me.

Never let the mistakes of others run your life,

Richard Leland Neal

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Eater

30th July 2012
Dear Cassi,

Today I learned that one of Pickles’’ favorite foods is burritos. He told me that burritos are his top pick among all my cooking. This was some shock to me as I had thought it was pizza as it has been for most of his life. This came up because I had placed six burritos in his freezer to serve as meals for him in the coming days and he ate them all by noon. When I asked him he hit himself on the forehead for being a hog. 
As I’m sure I have said, pickles loves food in general, and eating is one of his most loved pastimes. I recall the time Pickles was given a few bags of brownies and, even saying they were hard and ill flavored, kept eating them until he asked me to get them out of the house. He made himself sick over those three days having eaten almost nothing but brownies. I gave most of them away. I knew more than a few hungry folks back then. Now, I have to keep most of the burritos in the front freezers so that he keeps from eating them all.  
Pickles has a name for things he will not stop eating. He calls them trigger foods. From what I gather this is a technical term for things that cause a person to eat past fullness. Pickles keeps saying that he tries to keep those foods out of his refrigerator, but is it that he cannot control himself or that he will not control himself?
I’m not one to talk but I still believe in willpower. The last time I had a twenty four pack of soda Pickles was surprised that I hadn’t drank it all inside a week. Who drinks that much soda in a week? I think that ‘I couldn’t resist’ is just a group of words he hides behind.

Be the person you wish to meet, little sister

Richard Leland Neal