I Harden Myself

4^th December 2018

Dear Cassi,

Another year has passed, and I harden myself to the fight ahead. Every year I do this and every year I fail as badly as the last with my life looking no better than it did a year ago.

My home is under siege by Pony Girl hoping to have me gone so she can have my part. My neighbors are ready to kill more of my animals, and Pickle still refuses to unload the dishwasher. Things are looking bad.

By the New Year I’ll have two workstations (I hope), and be able to do almost everything I do on my drafting desk that I do on my main desk. If that works out this should be a year for getting things done.

I will have the drafting desk and the main work station. Then I will have the laptop in the studio. I have computers, computers, and more computers to work with but it feels like the lack of more than one me is the problem.

Well, this is depression. Depression is like swimming upstream in a river as cold and relentless as time and never being able to find safe harbor. I swim because if I stop and drowned or fall back so here I swim.

Keep your head above water, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal