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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Heavy Head

22nd January 2012
Dear Cassi,

I’m sick and delirious but my teachers tell me I’m doing well in their classes. This is no surprise to me as I have come accustomed to working in misery. It has always been my experience that when one feels bad they should just keep doing what they can. So long as progress continues the job will get done. It works for school but not for life. Some times in life we have problems we just can’t work through.
In any case, I’ve done my homework for the week and should start on the next week’s assignments but I just need to think of something other than psychology for a few hours. Then, recalling the other dismal times of my life is probably not the most relaxing thing I can do this evening.
As insomnia has always been a part of my life so have the feelings of exhaustion and a poor rate of bodily repair. When I was a young boy I would hang my head because of its weight. This gave me the look of perpetual sadness that all ignored and caused me to forever be casting my eyes at the ground.
Often was the day I had to walk carefully as not to upset the balance of my brain and in fast movements cause a great pain in my head. As a child I felt a prisoner in my body, as an adolescent I felt it was a numb shell, and now a crushing weight. Never have I felt right in my skin.

Feel better than I, little sister

Richard Leland Neal