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Saturday, May 5, 2012

Ghosts of Could Have Been

23rd January 2012
Dear Cassi,
How do I compare to you in that my life lies in tatters and its broken pieces are no closer to mending than they have ever been. The ghosts of could have been haunt me as wailing spirits calling for justice that they cannot have. Every effort I have ever made to right myself has been met with a hammering down and so I live at the bottom of my despair but always I clime again to receive by next helping of torment.
That turtle nosed freak you call an ex-husband tried to push onto me what worries he gave to you. He stabbed at me for my resistance and then told the world his transgression under my name. Still, those who have turned away from me I need none of and they can have their unions away from me.
I learned a lot about lies from that thing that is less than human and so I know lies when I see them. What we can do when we are lied to is still a problem. I was lied to by my family until I stopped speaking to them, and I was lied to by my last work until they fired me. They called it a layoff but I’m not splitting hairs.
Then, if there is one thing folks tell me it is that I am incredibly strong to have lived through so much and come out so well. If they would call me strong for what I have endured your strength can be counted as nothing less than Herculean for your own trials.
They say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and you and I know the sadness of this lie so well. Still, I think there is hope for both of us, Cassi, life is a strange thing that wriggles and squirms until it ceases to be.

Stay safe, little sister

Richard Leland Neal  

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