What most of us would give to be fourteen again, and that was the age at which I wrote this letter. To be honest, I would never want to be fourteen again because being fourteen was a time at the height of my disease.
This is the oldest document recovered from my electronic files, and the random nature of its request is a testament to the sickness that plagued my mind. Exactly what was wrong with me at the time is a question that cannot be completely answered.
Some where I have the opinion of a nurse and I will post that soon, but whatever it was I believe that at least part of it stemmed from the fact that no matter what I said or did I had no affect on the world around me.
The world looked on as I suffered, and no one was willing to admit the truth or act against it. I was a thing expendable, and if I lived or died no one would have taken much notice.
As for the letters noted in this text they never existed. I had gotten it into my diseased brain that I should write letters, but the limit of my command of the written word hampered me. I never delivered this letter but the only right answer to so foolish a request would have been no.
1st April 1994
Dear (English teacher),
I have an unusual request, that is I have several letters that I need correcting and you are the most trust worthy of all that I have considered for this task, but if you do not have the time for this I will understand. I realize that you are a busy man with your family and your class schedules, but if you can find time to spare, I would greatly appreciate it.
Sincerely,
R. L. Neal
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