21st November 2011
Dear Cassi,
So now I have written about the day my mother gave up on life and the day death claimed her. Now another moment, if you will permit me, is my return to school after the funeral.
It was a Monday, I will never forget that, and I attended class thinking that the world would go on. By this time I had turned ten, and at ten I was no wiser than I was at nine. Now I believe we put so much into the time of death that it is harder for us to return to our lives, but at the time I was unprepared for what would happen.
My mother’s death was terrible not that in it happened, but in those things that happened because of its happening. This would be the first of those sad events. I entered the class room thinking that all would be as it was when my 5th grade teacher called me to the front.
She told me, with the whole class watching, that if I needed to excuse myself to cry I could. I told her that I felt there would be no need for that, and to my surprise she broke down at that moment. She fell into my arms, and I as a young man had no idea how to react.
In my confusion I patted her on the back not truly understanding what was happening. I still fail to understand why she was overwhelmed by emotion. Why my own pain was felt so strongly by others I cannot say, but I assure you it didn’t help things.
Stay safe, Cassi,
Richard Leland Neal
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