Shopping Season - David Letterman

 

Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss Book Review

'Horton Hatches the Egg' by Dr. Seuss is a classic from the master

of keeping your child's interest Dr. Seuss.  It is the story told in rhyme of a bird that tricks and elephant to sit on it's egg. 

This is the classic story of hard work paying off which is neither here nor there now days in our world of work not paying off. However, this is a book that ends well and makes you feel that all is right with the world. 

This is not one of those books you just need to read to your child but it is one that you should because it's one of the best children's books ever written. There are higher ranking Seuss books, but you can't go wrong with this one. 

Who should read this book? Everyone.  

Books read: 166 of 5000

Bad Offer

24^th January 2016

My Dear Sister Margaret,

I spoke to you of the events of the hearing where I fought for my unemployment, and I still await the results. I got another call that day and one of the darkest I have received so far.  I received a job offer to work in skid row as a security officer: Less pay, more danger, but promise of overtime. I could tell this fellow thought it was an easy sell. He figured that I needed the job which is anything but true, but if I was losing my unemployment, if I knew I was I mean, I’d have taken the job. That’s the kind of work I get called for, the pay is a joke, and the conditions are bad. That’s the life of a man with my experience.

To add insult, I never did hear back from Raf on that script. You’d think after how I proved myself to that fellow he would be honest. I tell you, there was an altercation out front one night. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew Raf was out there and so I went out to watch his back. When you’re ready to bleed for a fellow it should mean something.

I always figured that if the script was good enough he knew someone who would want to produce it and if it wasn’t I needed to know. Now my option is to put money into the script to try and find a producer. That’s the thing about writing, you need friends or you need money. Friends always come up short so I got to try money. That’s why taking any job becomes a thing. 

In other news, I still don’t have my car back. They said it would be another week but that they would have to cover the rental fee. At least that’s something.

The only honestly good thing I have for you is that a friend, Dan, was happy to know of my bringing you recyclables and thinks he may have some toiletries for the homeless.  Dan told me that the woman he lives with, I’m not sure his relation to her, is a nurse and takes these things as they are given to her at her work. He winds up with a stalk pile and so on.

Here is to the light at the end of the tunnel,

Richard Leland Neal 

Click, Clack, Splish, Splash : a Counting Adventure by Doreen Cronin and...

"Click, Clack, Splish, Splash: a Counting Adventure" by Doreen

Cronin and Betsy Lewin is a book that helps children learn how to count. It has a minimalist story that implies a group of farm animals are going to get into some business down by the water. 

A big thing about this book is that you need to infer much of the story because it's not spelled out so that young children can read this book on their own. That's not a bad idea at all. This book is a fine learning tool for children. If I had a child learning to count I just might get this book for them. 

Who should read this book? Children learning to count to ten. 

Books read: 165 of 5000.

Mount Vesuvius : Europe's Mighty Volcano of Smoke and Ash by Kathy Furgang

'Mount Vesuvius: Europe's Mighty Volcano of Smoke and Ash' by

Kathy Furgang is a book about the volcano that took out the city of Pompey. The big thing about that is that there are a number of rather grizzly images that are associated with this story but are not in this book. There is the danger of your child finding them if they read this book. 

Past that, this is a fascinating look at a big fire mountain. I found this book to be stimulating, but similar to other books in the same set. 

Who should read this book: Children who may grow up to be adventurers. 

Books read: 164 of 5000

Train by Judi Abbot Book Review

'Train' by Judi Abbot is a book about a child at the stage in life

when they can only speak one word. In this case the word is train and the child is referring to their favorite toy. 

As you can see from the cover the child is depicted as an elephant and every character in the story is an animal other than a human. This is a story with a divers group of animals as it's players. 

Now the big moral lesson is not to fixate on one thing lest you miss out on something else. However, the goal of this book is to teach children at a very young age how to spell a few words. 

Overall, this is a fun little story and definitely worth a read. 

Who should read this book? Young children.

Books read: 163 of 5000

Putrid in My Clothes

30^th November 2017

Dear Cassi,

I am putrid in my clothes not having washed for almost three days being hard at work in the drafting of comics and such. The nature of my garments is a disgrace as they are raggedy and stained with cat fur bristling from them. I have discarded my undergarments some hours ago as they had grown too saturated with the substances of the body.

The washer hums and so does the drier with the items scraped from the floor after the garage had been cleaned. I sort them finding in there long idle nature they had found detritus. Little bits of things fall to the concrete as I go. Long stained garments and towels, things you would revolt to touch, are a constant company to my work.

It has been longer than six hours since I took food, but still I feel no hunger in this less than an hour past midnight. I dine only when my hands become too shaky for the drafting table as I draw comics as I work on other things.

This is me in the odd twilight of being a man of employment and yet still surviving off an unemployment check. The company for whom I work has no hours for me, and in the low point I work every day as if I will never return to my labors. I work every day as if I will never get another job.

I draft my comics as if my livelihood depends on them. I draft hard and long, but as always I am behind in my work. With some it is a matter of months with another it is more than a year of work waiting for my hand to lift a pen.

The long hours are hard on my body and my gut lives in me as some parasite digging into me and causing pain in my back. My body groans as I rise, but I can only sit so long before my blood demands motion.   I know I need water as the skin of my cheeks is cracked beneath my unshaven beard, but again I will soon need to force myself to eat.

For the whole of my life I have struggled with depression and this is only another battle in that long war. I fear I will fight until my dying breath, but what else can I do.

Live strong, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

'I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! and other Stories' by Dr. Seuss Book Review

'I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories' by Dr. Seuss is one

of his books that, as the name implies, has many stories within. The first story features a young Cat in the Hat or a close relative who is boasting of his ability to fight tigers but finds away out of fighting at all. 

'King Looie Katz' is a story about social hierarchy, speaking up against injustice, and relying on one's self.  It is very similar to 'Yertle the Turtle' in nature but not color scheme. It comes with a life lesson as relevant today as it has been since they day it was written by Seuss. 

The final story is that of 'The Glunk That Got Thunk' a story about a child who thinks up a creature that she can't get rid of and that makes a long distance phone call from her home. This is a very silly way of telling children to keep their minds in check, or perhaps it's just a story, but in the end it features needing help with a problem. 

Who should read this book? Everyone.

Books read: 162 of 5000

Production Person

15^th December 2017

My Dear Friends at this New Production Company,

Your ad for a ‘Production Person’ stated that you require an educated and articulate person for the job. I have a four year degree in Psychology, I have lived in Los Angeles all my life and speak standard American English and have completed enough units in theater and film for a degree in that area. 

I have credits as both a voice and live actor on IMDB as well as credits as a writer. I currently edit digital footage in Adobe Elements, I have some experience with green screens, and DSLR. I have a strong knowledge of film history and interest in the industry.  

My primary occupation is that of a Security Officer, and in that area I have always been something of a jack of all trades. I’ve had to do everything from small electronics repair to painting the office I worked in. I’ve worked on film shoots and I’ve worked in vacant lots. I’m the kind of man who has had to adapt to new environments and tasks.

There is very little in this world that I haven’t come up against and working in the area of film should prove to be a new challenge with greater opportunities. 

Best,

Richard Leland Neal

The Sun by Margaret J. Goldstein Book Review

'The Sun' by Margaret J. Goldstein is a book about that big

old star that keeps our world livable. 

It's a little book and I mean that literally it being a small hard cover that fits well in very little hands. 

One of the down points of this book is that it's on the outdated side of things still saying that Pluto is a planet. 

This book may spark the heart of your little astronomer. It also may be surpassed by something newer. 

Who should read this book? Children who know that everything in a book isn't right. 

Books read: 161 of 5000

'Facts and Figures' by Rose Griffiths Book Review

'Facts and Figures' by Rose Griffiths is a small hard bound book

designed to teach children mathematics. It is written under the idea or situation of a group of children who are taking care of guinea pigs. 

Examples are given of how math can be used to help look after the animals and keep them fed. Weighing the animals is also mentioned.  At one point toy guinea pigs are introduced to help with understanding a small amount about shapes and geometry. 

All and all this book is a lot more fun than it is educational. That's not bad because making math fun is a great idea. 

Who should read this book? Children nervous about math. 

Books read: 160 of 5000

Honest Art Form - Lenny Bruce

Preferably with Restroom

17^th August 2017

Salutations Friends,

 I was just looking over your ad on Craigslist and noted that I may be right for your position as a graveyard Security Officer. I’ve maintained a Guard Card since nineteen ninety eight and am currently employed as a night guard.

I currently do many of the things that I would be required to in your position so the job would be very similar. I’m rather happy in my work save for one minor issue. It would appear as though the Officer I work with is rather territorial regarding the portable toilet.

When I addressed my concerns with management it was suggested that I use the bushes rather than the portable so as not to offend the other officer.  I have complied with this request, but I feel that this work environment isn’t for me. 

I’m sure you can understand,

Richard Leland Neal

Mom and Produce

 

People Who Stink: Mike Jones

I had this exchange on FaceBook and thought it worth recording. I looked up 'Mike Jones' here and found that he only had two friends. If that doesn't set off warning bells I don't know what does.  

In any case, this is an exchange regarding responsible shopping and the human cost of business. 

Richard Leland Neal Walmart can say whatever it wants to. They can go eat Trump an die for all I care. I never shop at Walmart, and the only people who have any excuse to shop at a place that treats their workers that badly is a person who can't afford to shop anywhere else. Responsible Americans don't shop at Walmart!

Mike Jones you suggest people pay more for the exact same item? Its human nature to find a deal and spend less money than needed. Thats how Wal-Mart became so big by cutting costs. If a cashier accepts $8 an hour for 30 hours a week what business is it of mine? Do u inquire about the labor practices of every single business u patronize? I doubt it. Target is no different they just operate on a higher profit margin they dont pay $15 an hour. They just charge more for goods because it costs them more to do bnusiness due to inefficientcy.

Richard Leland Neal Mike Jones I see your talking out your rear there. Well, so do most conservatives. First off, Walmart items are often of lower quality so you are getting what you pay for. Second, I shop at Costco and they are known for treating their employees well. Everyone needs a job so Walmart employees do not 'accept' $8 an hour, they settle for low pay because they need the job. Maybe you can get away with those kinds of comments among the ignorant but I happen to be educated and I know better.

Rivers Have a Beginning - Native American Proverb

 

Catholic School Children - Lenny Bruce

If Congress - Jon Stewart

Hay Mr. Book Geek

I believe this letter was never mailed. I wrote it hoping to help a book geek who was screwing himself over by practicing poor judgment in moderation. Well, we live and learn. Just remember that the learning part is really important if you’re going to do a lot of the living part.

26^th May 2017

Mr. (Book Geek),

It would appear from the fact that there are no more books to review on your website that your publishing company is all but defunct with only your previously published titles remaining for the public. Well, that is the world we live in and I hope one day you can open again for publication.

In that vein, I have to point out that group moderation, book screening, and overall management of the site needed improvement. If you ever get things back up and running addressing these things should be a number one priority.

I know I once sent you an email about what you could do to improve things, and I’ll avoid covering those topics over again. Still, one issue that needed resolution was the whole spelling thing. By that I mean the fact that I got a letter from your site telling me my book met requirements for spelling and grammar and yet reviewers, even your employees, mentioned spelling issues.

A higher standard for spelling would probably be a good idea. After I reviewed my manuscript I saw that it indeed had a number of spelling issues that I should have addressed.  To be honest, I had sent it off expecting to get a rejection and hoping to send in a copy after the next edit to see if I had improved. My book needed some major editing before being viewed.

The second point in this is that moderators really should have mentioned to reviewers that all the books on the site had been cleared for spelling, and that spelling issues should not be accounted in reviews. It’s just one of those things that everyone needs to be on the same page.

I would have to say that even further; a review should only be placed on the site after a moderator has read that review and checked it for politeness.  I have never read a book on your site that I honestly thought was worth publication. I gave honest reviews, I know that much, but given how my own work was treated I feel I offended someone.

I hope things turn out well for you,

Richard Leland Neal 

Live of those You Meet - Fred Rogers

Not Drumpf Enough

5^th January 2018

My Dear Mr. Oliver,

Back in February of 2016 Last Week Tonight aired a segment that attempted to remove who would soon become our president of his faith inspiring name. Whereas I admit you have had some success in the area there is much room for improvement. I very much enjoyed seeing men and women on Facebook talking about Donald Drumpf.

Unfortunately, the president’s name is still on everyone’s lips, and Drumpf is nearly forgotten. Well, what went wrong?  For one thing, Drumpf is uncharacteristically dull for Last Week Tonight. Unlike news about the president Drumpf just isn’t fun. For another, it’s just not saucy enough for your program. So, what name can we come up with to help America get over its orange dictator addiction?

The answer came to me when I saw an old photograph of myself and remembered the Native American name my mother had given me. She called me ‘Hair of the Golden Rod’ because in youth my hair was strikingly blond. So what would the name of Mr. Drumpf be if the Native Americans named him for his most notable feature?

No, I’m not speaking of orange skin or use of tanning oil. I believe they would call him “Shitting Bull.” You may have this with my compliments, Mr. Oliver.

Best,

Richard Leland Neal 

'Trouble with Trolls' by Jan Brett Book Review

'Trouble with Trolls' by Jan Brett is the story of a young girl

crossing mount Baldy to see some relatives when she encounters a family of what she calls trolls. These aren't the massive ugly monsters from 'Lord of the Rings' but are more like the fluffy haired trolls you buy at the store. 

Now, these monsters want her dog and time and time again she tricks them to get the animal back.

The great thing about this story is that it focuses on a strong female character who can look after herself. The bad thing is that she is going out alone and that's just not the smartest thing in the world. 

All in all, this is a fun book with great art work. It's large enough for a parent to read to a child easily. 

Who should read this book? Folks wanting to be entertained. 

Books read: 159 of 5000

'Kintaro, the Nature Boy' by Ralph F. McCarthy

'Kintaro, the Nature Boy' retold by Ralph F. McCarthy is a story

from Japanese culture told for us Americans. Now, this is a well constructed, but physically small, book that does not lend itself to being read to a child. It has Japanese style full color art work and the story is in two languages. 

Another point is that the traditional dress of Kintaro shows his naked rear end. The book does have some violence and the hero fights monsters.  

All in all, the question should be 'what age group is this for?' and only you can decide if it's right for your child. 

Who should read this book? Folks who are okay with a young boy's rear end. 

Books read: 158 of 5000

Face Bug by J. Patrick Lewis

'Face Bug' by J. Patrick Lewis is a book of poetry about bugs

drawn as a trip to a bug museum for bugs hosted in a stump. This is the kind of book that teaches as your child has fun. Full of great pictures and drawings this book is a great mix of elements that does education right. 

To be honest, I would have liked more information to go with the poetry. This is a great book for reading to your child because of it's size. The focus here is far more on fun than education. Still, this book is a great read. 

Who should read this book? future 

entomologists

Books read: 157  

I've Seen it All

28th October 2016

My dear friends,  

I am a Security Officer with eighteen years of experience working in all kinds of environments from industrial with big rig trucks to guarding stores and strip malls. I make it a point to be a professional at all times and treat every person as though they are a potential customer.

There are few tasks in security that would be unfamiliar to a man with my experience and I’m sure that I can acclimate to any position you have open.

Best,

Richard Leland Neal

Elephant Twins by Richard Sobol Book Review

'Elephant Twins' by Richard Sobol is a book about the only known

twin elephants in the world. The story of the two elephants, Gold Light and Gold Ray, is documented by photographer Richard Sobol who is a well known photojournalist.

In this book you can see elephants playing, napping, and learning in the community that lives with these spectacular animals.  

Elephant Twins is just one of those books that leaves a smile on your face. 

Who should read this book? Everyone

Books read:156

Casabianca by Felicia Dorothea Hemans (1826)

 

This poem, Casabianca, was first published in August of 1826 and is the true story of the French ship Orient taking part in the 'Battle of the Nile' in 1798.

The boy is a one Giocante, son of Commander Louis de Casabianca, who stood his post after his father's death. He stands his post until the ships ordinance store explodes taking his life.

The poem itself was common place in United Kingdom and United States classrooms until it fell out of favor in 1950. It was so part of the literary zeitgeist that it was referenced in Bram Stoker's novel 'Dracula' in 1897. The pilot of the ship Demeter which transported Dracula to England was compared to "the young Casabianca" in how he had stood his post. 

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle’s wreck,
Shone round him o’er the dead.

Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though childlike form.

The flames rolled on – he would not go,
Without his father’s word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.

He called aloud – ‘Say, father, say
If yet my task is done?’
He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.

‘Speak, father!’ once again he cried,
‘If I may yet be gone!’
– And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.

Upon his brow he felt their breath
And in his waving hair;
And look’d from that lone post of death,
In still yet brave despair.

And shouted but once more aloud,
‘My father! must I stay?’
While o’er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.

They wrapped the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.

There came a burst of thunder sound –
The boy – oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!

With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part,
But the noblest thing which perished there,
Was that young faithful heart.