Not Drumpf Enough

5^th January 2018

My Dear Mr. Oliver,

Back in February of 2016 Last Week Tonight aired a segment that attempted to remove who would soon become our president of his faith inspiring name. Whereas I admit you have had some success in the area there is much room for improvement. I very much enjoyed seeing men and women on Facebook talking about Donald Drumpf.

Unfortunately, the president’s name is still on everyone’s lips, and Drumpf is nearly forgotten. Well, what went wrong?  For one thing, Drumpf is uncharacteristically dull for Last Week Tonight. Unlike news about the president Drumpf just isn’t fun. For another, it’s just not saucy enough for your program. So, what name can we come up with to help America get over its orange dictator addiction?

The answer came to me when I saw an old photograph of myself and remembered the Native American name my mother had given me. She called me ‘Hair of the Golden Rod’ because in youth my hair was strikingly blond. So what would the name of Mr. Drumpf be if the Native Americans named him for his most notable feature?

No, I’m not speaking of orange skin or use of tanning oil. I believe they would call him “Shitting Bull.” You may have this with my compliments, Mr. Oliver.

Best,

Richard Leland Neal