6th January 2017
Dear Cassi,
A nimbus appears around every light
when I look through my left eye. This is my body’s way of saying that I haven’t
had enough water to keep the toxins out of my blood. I haven’t strained myself
enough to justify this problem, but it came up anyway.
Over the last few days I’ve been
pushing the consumption of vegetables. Pickle has been picky about that and I
spent the last half of the day cleaning out the crap in my work room. There was
cat spore that had been left from the time of my last litter of kittens more
than a year ago.
I used the broom to sweep up the old
cat litter and the smell of urine filled the air. This is depression. This is
the look of a man so broken as I, and a man looking to change things. I have my
better days like this one when I clean things up, and my bad days where I can’t
get out of bed.
I’m told the Japanese have a
tradition of filling in cracks in broken things with gold because the history
makes them more valuable. I’m not sure you can do that with my home or my life
for that matter. Then again if history makes a thing more valuable than I am
worth more than gold and so are you.
Stay golden, little sister,
Richard Leland Neal
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