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Monday, September 23, 2013

Let the Pain Go

6th of October 2012
Dear Cassi,

Yesterday I heard a voice from the past calling out like a ghost bringing to life the pain that I have so long suppressed. It was one of Turtle Nose’s friends responding to one of my posts online. I haven’t heard from this woman in at least two years but our last encounter was a disagreement.
I recall she had posted something about an apartment
made to save space. I felt that all the casters and rollers were a bad idea. Things that would get old and worn out. It seemed in the nature of our disagreement that she was driving at something else so I never responded two her posts again. I could have been paranoid but I’ve been burnt by Turtle Nose’s friends before and had no interest in taking the chance.
Then there she was asking me to tell Pickles she said hello. Pickles sees his own face when he looks at Turtle Nose and his short comings revolt him so he has no wish to hear from folk of so poor quality as to call that fellow friend.
Our discussion degenerated into a conversation about your turtle nosed ex-husband and so confirmed that all this time she had paid me no attention. Why she chose to make her presence known now is beyond my reasoning but then that is the internet for you. So many folks from our past are just a few clicks a way and if we really called them friends we would have stayed in contact.
The one thing that is more than clear is that memories of your ex-husband and my ex friend afflict me like ulcers and put me in ill disposition. I have to change how I think and let that sort of thing run into the dust as it should have done years ago. This is why I write so many letters about him. It sets my mind at ease to think rationally.

Let the pain go, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal