Old Webmaster

I still have never sent the email to my old webmaster described in this letter and yet he has not taken down the site I talk about and, so far as I know, still refuses to speak to me.

This was almost two years ago now and I still haven’t got everything resolved. Well, honestly, when we die we are lucky to be without loose ends.

15^th of October in 2010

Dear Cassi,

It's becoming the standard that I write these letters just after speaking to you and in this case I hadn't but just opened the program and begun to type when you called. I have to put it to you again that you should feel no obligation in replying by mail. For one, it's a needless expense on your part, and in second respect, our friendship should not be a burden. I love to write, even with my difficulties with the written word, and I find the act soothing.

My life has been an angry and sad affair lacking in the dignity of the page and its letters. Even the paper on which I print this was meant for letters and resumes, but has sat in its wraps for some years. Paper and envelopes abound in my workroom making home for the dust that gathers. Putting these things to work is always better than forgetting them.

In an effort to clean my workroom I donated paint, brushes, paper and markers to an art group for the mentally ill. I don't know if they have much use for the things I gave them but I have seen Paul bring home a few pieces of art in the paper I sent them. Every now and again I look at the pads of watercolor paper and wonder if I should donate them as well. They will not use the watercolor paint because it's too difficult, but the paper would see some use. I haven't painted in two years so I don't think I'll start soon, but if I do I need some paper to work on and normal stalk paper just won’t do. The paint would soak into it and turn it to mush.

As I struggle to reinvent myself, a thing many people are forced to do in this economy, I don't think painting will be on my list of do-wells. I painted for class, I painted for myself, and honestly I painted more for class than I did for me. To me that is sad and silly, a misuse of materials when taken in context, my teachers were a drain on my personal economy when my expression is a growth industry.

In other news, I'm having some issues with the new comic site. I can't find it in comic genesis which is the host site, but sooner or later it will pop up. I've been talking with the site admins about it and they said it has to be up for me to be uploading. I ran a Google search on it, and found that it had been on the samples page, but all I found was a ghost of the description that I sent in. Google could find it, but I couldn't locate it on the page. It was some kind of glitch in the system that should be righted soon.

The old comic site is still running after all, which is as much a burden as it is a relief. I had thought that I wouldn't need to send (the old webmaster) and email informing him that he could take the site down if he had taken it down himself. Well, he has left it up so I'll be emailing him by year end to tell him that his site is no longer necessary. If nothing else, the old site is good advertising for the new comic site and if anyone actually has been checking in from time to time I can lead them to the new comics.

I've thought about what my parting words to (the old webmaster) should be. Should I tell him what happened or explain to him that he has been childish? The short answer is “no.” I've no wish to have him back in my life, and if he wanted the truth he would have asked. No, I think something along the lines of “I have a new comic site now, leave the old one up until you want to take it down.” What else is there to say?

Again, this experience has revealed who my friends are, and that has been immensely valuable information. To know that I am so short on friends is to know where I should be spending my time and energy. I need to look forward, and move on with my life.

Best

Richard Leland Neal