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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Circular Logic

28th April 2013 

Hay James,

There has been a bit of business stuck in my gut for a few years that I’ve meant to talk to you about. Truth is this has likely slipped from your memory.

It must have been some eight years ago shortly before Celaya shipped off to the army that we went to a strip club. I’m not sure how common an event this is for you, but it has never left my mind, because I was in a lot of pain. It happened that I was suffering from potassium deficiency, and so my gut filled with water and threatened to burst.

Well, Celaya just insisted I get a lap dance and only stopped asking when I screamed to be left alone. From what I gather you asked Mr. Celaya why he refused to listen and he told you that I was always saying ‘no’ to him. This came up a few years later when Chris Celaya pestered me to play video games when I had homework.

I recall lamenting to you that Chris would not listen to me unless I was screaming. “He pesters me until I snap” I think were my words, and you replied with “Well, you’re always saying ‘no’ to him” as if this gave him the right to treat me in this manner.

I just have to ask, James, did it ever cross your mind that this was circular logic? Honestly, I never have to say yes. That’s just not how things work, but when I got up and walked away from the situation I detected a feeling of anger among your friends.

Don’t get me wrong, it was unfair of me to have involved you in this at all. It was my fight and I should have fought it alone until it ended my friendship with Chris Celaya.

This put a bitter feeling in my gut about you for some years and I guess this is my way of letting it go. I’d like to apologize for that as I should have just explained the situation. I still would rather you keep your hands to yourself. I mean, no means no and should have no less meaning or power no matter how many times it passes my lips.

Just had to get that out,

Richard Leland Neal