12th
April 2012
Dear Cassi,
I think you may recall Turtle Nose speaking
of a story I worked on back in middle school that stayed with me to mid high
school. I have but fragments of its evolution in my mind now and so little was
ever written down with all the obstacles in my way. Many were the nights … or
days … or evenings maybe, I can no longer give account of such things, that I
would sit imprisoned in my mind unable to sleep but too weak to move.
My wandering thoughts would spin yarns for
me in that hell that gave me what play I could have at eleven. The darkness of
my life was lit only by my stories as the spark of light I had to cling to in
keeping my sanity. I called my hero Claw as hands had then been useless to me.
Those people from where Claw came I called Clordonians. They were a race of
Cyborgs things made of machine and flesh.
So, from where did the Clordonians come?
The face I took from the Terminator and the body was that of a toy soldier that
lost a hand. The ship I saw them fight across space with was a toy gun that
came with the soldier.
In my head and with bits a bobbles I
constructed a thing I would dream to become because of my depression. The
Clordonian was a being that had suffered terrible wounds and could still live.
Wounds like those on my heart from my mother’s death. The beings arms could
move by servos and by flesh and so it could feel no pain or fatigue.
These things of my imagination were the
engineers of a world where my pain would end. They were the saviors from my
privet hell, the guardian angels I wished I had. They were the grim smile that
kept me alive in this world.
Find your smile, little sister; it only
needs to shine for you,
Richard Leland Neal
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