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Monday, March 30, 2015

Kiss of Cold Air

1st October 2013

Dear Cassi,

What does it mean to love the kiss of cold air on my skin? Is it the relief from the heat of the feeling of space and freedom that it brings? I’ve never been a man to feel lonely even as I recognize the value of company. I find a comfort in solitude knowing that at last I am around those I can trust.

My world has always held in it some bleakness, but I find something poetic in turning to bleakness alone. Could it be that having so few in this world to trust has left me without those worth spending my time with, or is it only that I have no more time to spend? Then, can it be that my only hope is to look inward, and I still need to learn some self reliance?

These are the questions that bob about in my head as I listen to the hum of my fan here at work. There is a song to the night that wraps me in a peaceful wake and carries away my worry. Here in the heart of solitude I can find myself in the cool stillness free of worry.

These moments are few, Cassi, where I feel content, but I cherish every one of them for their rarity.

Know the good moments, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal