Tuesday, October 9, 2012
19th April 2012
Another point that has sat with me when I read over the letter detailing my last conversation with Turtle Nose is my omission of the statement ‘I want you to be a part of my life’ which came directly before ‘isn’t there something I can do to make it up to you?’
I believe the word is ‘bromantic’ as romance is something one does with the person of the opposite sex that they love bromance is something one does with his bros as an expression of deep friendship.
However, I see no friendship in his remark. For one, his refusal to call me by my name was more than just a joke. This was his way of denying who I am and inserting his character in my place. Turtle Nose wanted his imaginary friend back.
How can we tell that it is not me he wished to have in his life? Well, he made it impossible for me to be a part of his life. Think about all those folks who believed his lies and now lay hatred upon my head. In short, they hate me for being offended. Offence is an emotion so they hate me for having emotion. If I am to be hated for my human frailties then to please these folks I would have to be inhuman.
I will grant that this is natural for Turtle Nose’s state of being. You will recall that he hated dogs for being dogs and cats for being cats. Thus, he was offended by my humanity as he was also offended by yours.
He wanted me to be a part of his life at the expense of my own. The smallest thing I asked for was too much for him to tolerate, but he would ask for my life as if I could rise from the dead. I could give nothing to a man so greedy and the more that is given the more he will want.
Live free, little sister
Richard Leland Neal