20th April 2023
Dear (Entertainment Company),
According to your ad you’re looking for true stories to adapt into things like films and the like. I happen to have written a play inspired by true events in my life. The true parts are rather brutal and the false parts were a resolution so the true story is there to be made.
I mean, this is kind of a “The Glass Menagerie” kind of situation where I deal with my abusive family. The problem with the truth is that I never could get my life together, and I live below the poverty line. Still, I’ve done some odd things in addition to living with a toxic family.
I’ve spent six years working with the homeless, and at both shelters I got canned because I suffered an on duty injury. In college I was stalked by a psychotic writing teacher and now I’m being stalked by a psychotic homosexual truck driver that wants to by pictures of my junk.
I have to admit here that your ad is a little unclear on personal tragedies. I do have a history of dealing with corrupt animal control people, but that is the most law enforcement story I have.
In any case, you should sit down and talk with me for a spell. It would probably be an interesting conversation even if you can’t find a story to sell.
Best,
Richard Leland Neal