Anniversary Angus

5^th December 2014

Dear Cassi,

       

It’s funny how things get turned around. Yesterday Pickle took me out for the anniversary of my birth and, as is my custom, I permitted him to choose the restaurant.

       

Let’s be clear that he needed me to take him to the store and that when I take him to the store he pays by taking me to eat. I never press this issue. We go where he wants to go and eat what he wants to eat. I just drive. In this manner he cannot legitimately call me overtaxing or a burden.

       

In any case, Pickle decided on Black Angus Steakhouse because he had a coupon for the place. I shrugged, and said I didn’t care if we went to the Costco food court. I made a few jokes about Angus sounding like anus, and Pickle took offence.

       

He said I was calling him an anus, and I burst out laughing. A few years ago we had gone to that same restaurant and he had called me the same thing only with far ruder the tone. It was on his birthday and he was having the most expensive thing on the menu.

Some folks take you for granted,

Richard Leland Neal

What You Have

26^th August 2012

Dear Cassi,

         

I just want this nightmare to be over soon. I’ve no sink to wash my hands and I can look at Pickles new shower but the glue is not dry so look is all I can do. The dust burns in my chest and I spend most of my day at sleep having no good place to lie.  My house is under construction and that construction may finish me.

         

I move to the den because the air is filtered there then move back to the study were I can stretch. My bedroom his white with dust and I cannot sleep there until the work is done and I can have fresh linens. The washer and dryer are also out as they cannot run without water.

         

I want my kitchen back, I want my own cooking, and my good ginger tea. I want a sound sleep. I want for so much now but can have none so all that stands for me is the waiting.

         

These are the days, dear Cassi, when we learn to love the little bits of life. The feel of cool water over dirty hands and the smell of sheets fresh from the wash are alien to me now.

Appreciate what you have,

Richard Leland Neal

?

A question I have for the two or three folks who read this blog comes up with the creation of this image.  I drew this to accompany the first post on this blog and have since updated said post to include this image. You can see the post here:

http://letterstocassiandotherfolks.blogspot.com/2011/04/letters-to-cassi-and-other-folks.html

So I need  ask:

Should I update old post with images or delete old post and post them anew when I add an image?

If I simply update the old post should I post an acknowledgement of the update?

What was I Thinking?

If there is one thing that truly messes with a man it is his own face in the mirror made clear. That’s why it so hard for me to look back at these old essays.

That would lead to the question: “so why are you posting this online?” To be honest, I’m not all that sure. There are things I find that I will refrain from posting, but that is due to the work involved.

I believe that date is incorrect or that this was an essay for my freshman English class. I think I must have been the dumbest fifteen year old in all the state of California at the time, and I still have no idea how I graduated from high school.

Well this is an essay where I tried to say that we need good teachers, well written text books, and motivated students to teach mathematics. At the time I couldn’t even spell mathematics, what did I know?   

                              2^nd January 1995                           

M Forward

Math is the subject of today's essay. You all, I am sure, have taken it under different titles. So it must be explored good points, bad points, and flaws in application, so that it is understood.

           

Math enables us to do almost everything in life that we do now, it is considered by some to be more than or as essential as reading. This is perfectly true as I can see it. Math is a tool in business, and the more you know the better you can do, depending on how you use it, if you use it. It can and will give you a better understanding of what you do. Inside of all this are the bad points that always exist.

           

Common bad points are in un-learnable nature of math, it is confusing. In theory the equation for math learning is teacher X materiel plus study equals result or TM+S=R and the best to have is 25(2)+50=100 the teacher is a very important part as you can see. However math's greatest enemy is bad books, I have never seen good math books in fact. Not to mention that to teach math appropriately is thought to be too hard to do, or at least impractical. Can you detect the confusion?

             

The greatest problem with math as far as uses is that Math has attributed to the damaging things of today. Math gives us the ability to do bad and good and the two are inseparable. This is a topic that is not commonly brought up. However, you can counter math with itself. They used math to build the missal and to detect it.

             

until next time R.L.N.

Short Stories

It comes a time in my life that I have to look at things from another standpoint, and where as I have always wanted to be a novelist novel writing is hard, hit or miss, and time consuming.

So it came to me that so long as I was hammering away on the latest draft of a novel I should try to market the parts that fail to fit as short stories.

Short story writing is only lucrative if you write a great volume of publishable work. I think if your work is really something it may get further publication, but this is an area of publishing I have yet to explore.

If this piece sells I will make about one hundred and thirty dollars. Not enough to make it minimum wage.

27^th October 2011

Dear Editors at (Science Fiction Magazine),

I am an unpublished author in any paying market, but I did place a few poems in my High School publication back in the day.

My story is called ‘Live or Die’ and runs 2,427 words. It is science fiction in that it is set on an alien world and involves alien monsters.

You can probably guess that there is more from this universe and with this character, but I felt this to be a good point to start.

Thank you for your time

Richard Leland Neal

Look After Your Eyes

8^th of November 2011

Dear (two internet personalities),

First let me say love you both. ;-)

I was catching up with (your show) when I saw the segment where you both said you needed glasses. Well, I had one of my more nerdy moments and had to ask: ‘is it nature or nurture?’

The muscles that control your eyes are just like the muscles that do other things in your body. What they can do depends on how you use them.

When you do something like read a comic book, check your email, or watch a video on your computer you're making your eyes focus close up. The muscles get better focusing up close and lose their ability to focus far away.

They say for us average folk who use are computers too much that we should stare at a point twenty feet away for twenty seconds every twenty minutes. For you two your eyes may need a lot more of a workout, but you get the idea.

Look after yourself, take care of your eyes,

Richard

Sci Fi Editors

One of the pitfalls of posting letters daily as opposed to three times a week is that good, bad, whatever, you have to post.

The hope is that I can keep up daily posting for at least sixty days in order to get a good base going. The one thing I do have to say about that is that if you read something you don’t like wait a day and you might find something you do.

9^th November 2011

Dear Editors,

I am an unpublished author in any paying market, but I did place a few poems in my High School publication back in the day.

My story is called ‘Prodigal’ and runs 7,515 words. It involves an alien life form from a hive culture and his struggle for life.

There is only one human character who plays a very small part in this odd story. The story is certainly not new but it plays into the modern feelings of fear, uncertainty, and isolation that permeate today’s life. 

Thank you for your time,

Richard Leland Neal

Cover Letter to a Museum

I know, I know, I’m putting out a lot of cover letters here. Well, I am posting every day for you.

1^st November 2011

Dear Human Resources at (Museum),

I am responding to your ad for an Assistant Manager of Security posted online.

I have worked as a licensed Security Officer since 1998 and experienced some of the most intractable security situations imaginable. I am very used to dealing with the difficult situations that arise in security and again very familiar with many forms of security procedure.

In addition, it was this year that I earned a Bachelor’s of the Arts in Psychology from (stare College). I have a firm understanding of the human mind, the criminal element, and the potential for human error.

Payment options will depend somewhat on the working conditions and the average pay of your current security staff. I never ask more than honest work for honest pay, but every work-site has its own problems so the work involved will vary.

Thank you for your time,

Richard Leland Neal

The Road to Hell

Okay, this is a short one but I think it’s worth posting.

Believe it or not this is a response to a facebook status post. One of my college friends was telling the world at large that her life belonged to her.

If anyone that reads this has lived in a dysfunctional family then these words should ring true with you.

7^th November 2011

I’ve always felt that it is one thing to offer advice, and another to keep offering advice that people don’t take.

The first thing is being a friend and the second is being a saboteur as you soon find yourself spending more energy arguing over advice than dealing with your problem.

In this way even those who honestly believe they are helping you are getting in the way.

This would be an example of the old adage “the road to hell is paved in good intentions.”

Questions about Webcomics

I wrote this letter at some time in my life that my brain was just so burnt and battered that it should have made good eating. I’d like to think that I’ve level off some but it’s doubtful.

In any case I sent this to the wrong email address so it was never delivered but the answers are if you add an ad to your side, no, yes.

10/03/2010

This is an odd situation. I have a webcomic that I started about two years ago, but my webmaster is giving me some major problems and I'm thinking of switching to your site and I have some questions.

Question one: would I be posting comics for the privilege of posting or do I get ad revenue?

No one gets rich off webcomics, but I post a comic every day now, and if I’m doing it for the fun I think that might drop off some.

Question two: do you mind if I post comics from the other site?

I have no idea why you would, because I'll stop updating the old site but its only polite to ask.

Question three: if my comic gets popular and I can't make money off your site can I transfer it later or post a link for a new comic on your site?

Right now I have 2 comics "Max Space" and "Jonny American" I could put one up on your site and keep the other for my own site if I wanted to.

I know this is a lot to get through in one mail, but I got this thing about honesty: I believe in it. It's better to be upfront now than to have problems in the future.

Thanks,

Richard Leland Neal

A Fool and His Comic’

Okay this isn’t most compelling web conversation but, as the title implies, I’m the fool. However, I’m talking to a fool who thinks that he has found a book as important to him as the bible and he is a devout Charismatic Christian.

If you recall your history handing folks a second bible has never been a good idea.

On Wed, May 27, 2009 at 10:08 AM, Richard Neal 

Well, here are my first two comics I just scanned them in yesterday and you can see I had some problems but I think they will get better as things get on. sorry no color yet

Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 9:47 AM Foolish Person

You should consider a post to go with each comic. 

On Wed, May 27, 2009 at 1:48 PM, Richard Neal 

I don't get your meaning

Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 1:05 PM Foolish Person

For every comic you make you need 2-3 paragraphs telling the story about how this happened to you or a friend or whatever. You're funny to listen to and people would enjoy what you have to say. It'll help your webpage views when you begin to put them online. 

On Wed, May 27, 2009 at 2:19 PM, Richard Neal 

Yeah, I've learned that this material is funnier to some then others to be honest. Then I don't laugh at (a popular comic) either and still go see what is new every day. Anyway I sent the prototype web page to (web designer) this morning and hopefully I'll have it up by the 31st. though I have to say that not all of these frames are from real life some are just things I thought up.

Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 1:24 PM Foolish Person

Keep me updated. On a side note my show is coming along well. I need a boom and a lighting kit but what I've done is looking better and better. I'm reading a book about script writing that I value almost as much as the bible. Its drastically improved my writing. We'll see what happens. 

On Wed, May 27, 2009 at 2:31 PM, Richard Neal 

That’s funny, I just got a book like that for one of my classes. Are you using the 11 point or three act format?

Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 1:36 PM Foolish Person

3 act. What's 11 point? 

Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, (no time recovered)  Richard Neal 

11 point is a set of circumstances that happen in a script that details things like the inciting event, legitimate attempt, and drastic attempt, it’s in chapter four in my book here I read about it Monday. 

Radio People

Okay, this is a cover letter to a job search. Not much to say beyond that.

28^th October 2011

Dear (radio people),

I am responding to your ad for radio voices as I have been commonly told that I have a great voice for the medium.

I have had a few years training in theater arts, but I abandoned this about three years ago feeling that theater persons in the state of California have too poor an understanding of the business side of things.  

You can get a good idea of my sound and personality at my YouTube channel http://www.youtube.com/ICE9RLN0 . The sound equipment I use is rather simple, but you can still tell if you like what you hear.

Thank you for your time

Richard Leland Neal

Carpenter

20^th October 2011

Dear Fellows,

I’m responding to your job post for a set builder.

I built sets for theater in high school and college, but I was never paid for it.

I worked with (Instructor) at (Junior College), and he should remember me. I’ve cut wood and steel, painted, and assembled sets for college theater productions.

I understand that I’m under qualified for the job, but I can get the job done, and I know what it’s like to work under a deadline.

Thanks for your time,

Richard Leland Neal  

To Read or Not to Read

This is a letter following a request to see the rest of my novel after the first 48 pages had gone unread for some time. I would think my caution in sending larger bits of it is self explanatory.

At some point every author living in a world of defective support networks has to deal with people offering to read their work and failing to do so. Not that these are malicious doings, but rather like the nature of most folks who aim to read a book.

I would have to say that eighty percent of the books I own are presently unread. It is part of the human condition to want to read the collections of our great works of literature. So many of us want rather than do, and, for the most part, the thorny weeds of our lives snag us away from such things.

Life is full of barbs I guess. They are unavoidable, and we should be mindful of those who are as afflicted with them as ourselves.

15 October 2011

Dear Cassi,

Here we go with chapter five of my novel. A standards stamp can carry as much as six pages. With one letter and double sided sheets that’s about ten pages of text. Two stamps will carry sixteen pages or one letter and about thirty pages of text. That would dictate that the whole novel could be sent in about twelve envelopes.

   

I still only intend to send the next chapter if you read this one. I know how easy it is to forget about a novel. I’ve read half way through lots of them myself. In any case I’m still editing and such, so sending along something I know I’m going to change is simply counterproductive.

   

Another point to make is that if you have any gut reactions to this you should just say them. Kind words are nice, but getting published is the goal. If it makes you sad, causes you to put the pages away for a spell, or makes you hate the character I need to know.

   

I can tell you that there is no better way to stick it to your ex-husband than to get this book into print. If there is one thing he always fought with me about it was story ideas, and the reason was that he couldn’t deal with the possibility of my success.

   

Sometimes, ‘I’m going to stick it to that sack of crap’ is what gets me through the hard parts.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

For Good Reason

How many people have applied for a job that sucked to keep their unemployment benefits? If I had a larger friend base I would have them all apply for this job, and then turn it down just to get these people to raise the pay rate.

8^Th October 2011

Dear Cassi,

It appears as if the jobs that are open in this economy are open for a reason. I believe I have mentioned a job I applied for working at a mental hospital. This was part time, two days a week, but I thought the pay would be higher and the environment professional.

    

When I arrived for an interview I was greeted by the Security Supervisor who had trouble with his English or maybe trouble speaking at all. Understand here that the job description included good communication skills, written and verbal, in English. I was to work for a man who did not fit the job requirements.

    

This fellow told me that they were having as many as two cars stolen per day before he took over as head of security. He said that it came to employees leaving their car windows open so that when a car was stolen the windows were not broken.

    

It was at that point that he made it clear that when he said “a car was stolen” he meant that a car had been broken into and the radio stolen. I can imagine the local law enforcement loves talking to this man.

    

I learned that I may be called to the lobby during my working hours to deal with rowdy mentally ill patients. I would be given training to do this as well as CPR and the like. All this for twenty five percent over the minimum wage.

    

He asked if he would get a response from the contact numbers I had provided and I told him that two of the three companies I’ve worked for no longer exist, but that I could bring in my payroll records.

    

I brought in my records the next day and he then explained that I would also need to provide my own uniforms for this job but that if I stayed on I would get a three percent raise every year. In addition, I would need a physical to get the job.

    

I got to the point where they had called me in to sign the wavers for the physical when I backed out. If I had taken the job I would have given up part of my unemployment and if I lost the job I could have lost my benefits entirely. I think the reason this job was open was that no one would want it.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

Halfway Home

Okay, someone just tell me that this is a misprint or something. A sociology degree for a Security Guard? Well, I applied to the job just hoping they would mail me back and set the record straight.

              

Well, if not maybe I have a job.

7^th October 2011

Dear (Halfway Home)

I am responding to a very odd ad you folks posted on Craigslist for a security officer position. You appear to require a Bachelor’s in Social Work, and I have never seen a security job require that before.

I have my BA in Psychology and over ten years of security experience. I was laid off at the beginning of this year and took that time to finish my degree.

I have had some contact with the homeless at the work place, but none with troubled youth.

I do have to say this is the first time I’ve seen this list of requirements for a Security Officer.

In any case I have attached my résumé to this email so you may consider me for the job.

Thank you,

Richard Leland Neal

The Same Amount of Bull

I sent this letter to a fellow who thought that trade schools were a rip-off and intended to make a documentary on the subject. Little does he know, all the schools are just as screwed up.

Education in America has become a joke, and I can only hope that this person looks at my letter and comes to understand.

Most schools are full of the same crap.

Hay Folks,

Sorry I didn’t go to a film school, but I do have an experience at a state school to talk about. I started my time as a theater arts student. I had dealings with the film department that you may find interesting.

At school the professors demanded I accept failure, and I even had a teacher start screaming when I asked what electives would most likely get me a job.

I left theater arts when I had to ask a teacher to leave me alone and they refused. I took a total of 12 units of film classes, the most interesting one being screen writing.

I took the class because the professor told us that he would find a production company for our work. It bumped me from part to full time so it cost me a thousand dollars. Not much for a class at a private school, yeah, but 5% of a $20,000 education.

I pulled an A+, but he never kept his promise. That would be breach of a $100,000 contract. He lied and took his student’s money. If it had been a student with a lower grade I would have understood, but I exceeded is expectations.

To add insult to injury, he told the whole class they should intentionally fail their classes in order to gain access to the facilities to make their own film.

I mentioned that if five students got together the tuition for one semester would be well over ten grand enough to buy almost all the equipment one needs to make a film. He agreed that I was right but never retracted his statement.

I think his goal was to get students to take more classes and put more money in the schools coffers.

The film department at CSU Fullerton wasn’t just screwing the students out of their money. They were screwing the taxpayers, because the taxpayers pay for that school.

It’s not just the film schools, but all the schools that have a problem. We can get the knowledge we need out of books and experience. Students pay for school in order to make the needed connections to work in the industry. If you don’t get that you’re just throwing your money away.

I guess this doesn’t help much, but it’s the truth,

Richard Leland Neal  

Voice Actors

Now this is two of the dumbest jobs I’ve applied for in the last week.

I think most of us would be actors if we could, and the paycheck for the big names is just so out there that we would be fools to turn them down.

Losing your job in this economy can be a blessing. In the common place that is totally incorrect. Most folks will spend the next ten years getting their lives back together.

I have my finances in better order now than when I was first laid off, but I have yet to return to work. Who knows what will happen in the next few months?   

7^th October 2011

Hay their (casting company),

Just read your ad for voice over actors and thought I’d drop you a line. I’ve done acting in high school and college but never took it up professionally.

People tell me I have a nice voice.

Check out this video you can both hear and see me and get an idea of what I can do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck8o6M7gX2A

The sound quality on this camera isn’t all that great.

Thanks Richard

7^th October 2011

Hello (Casting Company),

Just saw your ad for talkers and I think I have a lot of experience never shutting up. I was a security guard for ten years and all we ever had to do was talk to people and watch cameras.

I’ve been told that having me around is like having the internet because I can pull up facts on almost any subject.

If you want to hear what I sound like you can see my videos on YouTube at

http://www.youtube.com/ICE9RLN0

Thanks

Richard 

Mortimer

On my computer there is a file of old letters, and when I have trouble finding the right one to post I post the first one in the file. That is assuming I find a file worth posting.

This is a letter and a letter response from a screenplay contest. They had this thing where you could ask a piece of clipart for advice. I asked my question to get into the spirit of things, and I was the only one that did.  

I think the important thing to remember here is that people who enter screenplay contest are interested in winning not participating.

4^th August 2011

Hay Mortimer,

Got a hard question for you.

I've two scripts I could rewrite for this and I can't pick. I got "Levi" Bond meets Alien eats Reservoir Dogs. It's a complicated plot with scenes out of chronological order that makes you keep wondering what will happen next. The other one is "Walker in the Trees" which is a more mainstream horror movie. When Karl's sister is found dead he is haunted with images of her death and obsessed with the idea that she was murdered. Will he find the truth or spend the rest of his life obsessed with a freak accident?

"Levi" is going to stand out and "Walker in the Trees" is easier to understand. The other concern is that I don't know if I can get Levi up to snuff on time but if I had to give you a time table on Walker it would be around three weeks. Ten days if you need it fast.

I don't know, simple or complicated, epic or personal, I just can't decide.

What do you think?

Richard


Hey Richard, 

Ya won't have much time to perfect this little baby, cause the idea is you write for a month and say screw it and hit that little itty bitty submit button. 

Learn to let go, my indecisive friend. Hand it over to the big guy in the sky. Yeah, I do mean Robert McKee. Just imagine he’s sitting on your lap, listening to your pitch. Which one does he NOT want to vomit on. That’s the one! 

Sounds like the horror flick would fit into their Horror slot just about right. And the other might give someone a brain hemorrhage. 

But, in the end, it's whatever you can get written in a month that won’t drive you bonkers and gets your creative juices flowing. The juicier the better. The judges can smell a juicy, yummy, passionate piece of writing a mile away. 

Passion is good. Juicy passion is better. Juicy passion with a kick-ass story that doesn’t make the reader want to shoot himself is best! On second thought, flip a coin. Always works for me.

Alrighty

Mortimer

Electric Immortality’

I wrote this when I was eleven or twelve still reeling from the death of my mother two years earlier. I had invented a story about a man who had been kill and reanimated through the use of implants. Those implants eventually became a part of him being truly consumed by his systems until it was impossible for the machine to be distinguished from the man.

To be dead honest, I got the idea from a few TV shows and movies mix with these booklets about surgery that had been floating around my house. They were images of muted tone showing flesh and implants together. I remember having these strange dreams about people who could be taken apart and put back together with screw drivers.

I guess I wished the world was that way. I wished I could have just taken a broken person to the mechanic and had them fixed. If only the world could be so simple that any think broken could be truly mended.

It simple isn’t so with the human body or mind.

Date unknown but some time in 1992.

ELECTRIC IMMORTALITY

A sound and then a silence

a ray upon the sky

the fleet has turned to dust

I lie upon the wreckage

bruised and battered am I

what is that at the door

a sinister figure

and I awaken a metal man

who are those people

with blood upon their tools

of healing and of  hurting

My hands are turned to claws                                            

human I am not

machine am I

O' why, O' why, O' why