?

A question I have for the two or three folks who read this blog comes up with the creation of this image.  I drew this to accompany the first post on this blog and have since updated said post to include this image. You can see the post here:

http://letterstocassiandotherfolks.blogspot.com/2011/04/letters-to-cassi-and-other-folks.html

So I need  ask:

Should I update old post with images or delete old post and post them anew when I add an image?

If I simply update the old post should I post an acknowledgement of the update?

Cover Letter to a Museum

I know, I know, I’m putting out a lot of cover letters here. Well, I am posting every day for you.

1^st November 2011

Dear Human Resources at (Museum),

I am responding to your ad for an Assistant Manager of Security posted online.

I have worked as a licensed Security Officer since 1998 and experienced some of the most intractable security situations imaginable. I am very used to dealing with the difficult situations that arise in security and again very familiar with many forms of security procedure.

In addition, it was this year that I earned a Bachelor’s of the Arts in Psychology from (stare College). I have a firm understanding of the human mind, the criminal element, and the potential for human error.

Payment options will depend somewhat on the working conditions and the average pay of your current security staff. I never ask more than honest work for honest pay, but every work-site has its own problems so the work involved will vary.

Thank you for your time,

Richard Leland Neal

Questions about Webcomics

I wrote this letter at some time in my life that my brain was just so burnt and battered that it should have made good eating. I’d like to think that I’ve level off some but it’s doubtful.

In any case I sent this to the wrong email address so it was never delivered but the answers are if you add an ad to your side, no, yes.

10/03/2010

This is an odd situation. I have a webcomic that I started about two years ago, but my webmaster is giving me some major problems and I'm thinking of switching to your site and I have some questions.

Question one: would I be posting comics for the privilege of posting or do I get ad revenue?

No one gets rich off webcomics, but I post a comic every day now, and if I’m doing it for the fun I think that might drop off some.

Question two: do you mind if I post comics from the other site?

I have no idea why you would, because I'll stop updating the old site but its only polite to ask.

Question three: if my comic gets popular and I can't make money off your site can I transfer it later or post a link for a new comic on your site?

Right now I have 2 comics "Max Space" and "Jonny American" I could put one up on your site and keep the other for my own site if I wanted to.

I know this is a lot to get through in one mail, but I got this thing about honesty: I believe in it. It's better to be upfront now than to have problems in the future.

Thanks,

Richard Leland Neal

To Read or Not to Read

This is a letter following a request to see the rest of my novel after the first 48 pages had gone unread for some time. I would think my caution in sending larger bits of it is self explanatory.

At some point every author living in a world of defective support networks has to deal with people offering to read their work and failing to do so. Not that these are malicious doings, but rather like the nature of most folks who aim to read a book.

I would have to say that eighty percent of the books I own are presently unread. It is part of the human condition to want to read the collections of our great works of literature. So many of us want rather than do, and, for the most part, the thorny weeds of our lives snag us away from such things.

Life is full of barbs I guess. They are unavoidable, and we should be mindful of those who are as afflicted with them as ourselves.

15 October 2011

Dear Cassi,

Here we go with chapter five of my novel. A standards stamp can carry as much as six pages. With one letter and double sided sheets that’s about ten pages of text. Two stamps will carry sixteen pages or one letter and about thirty pages of text. That would dictate that the whole novel could be sent in about twelve envelopes.

   

I still only intend to send the next chapter if you read this one. I know how easy it is to forget about a novel. I’ve read half way through lots of them myself. In any case I’m still editing and such, so sending along something I know I’m going to change is simply counterproductive.

   

Another point to make is that if you have any gut reactions to this you should just say them. Kind words are nice, but getting published is the goal. If it makes you sad, causes you to put the pages away for a spell, or makes you hate the character I need to know.

   

I can tell you that there is no better way to stick it to your ex-husband than to get this book into print. If there is one thing he always fought with me about it was story ideas, and the reason was that he couldn’t deal with the possibility of my success.

   

Sometimes, ‘I’m going to stick it to that sack of crap’ is what gets me through the hard parts.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

For Good Reason

How many people have applied for a job that sucked to keep their unemployment benefits? If I had a larger friend base I would have them all apply for this job, and then turn it down just to get these people to raise the pay rate.

8^Th October 2011

Dear Cassi,

It appears as if the jobs that are open in this economy are open for a reason. I believe I have mentioned a job I applied for working at a mental hospital. This was part time, two days a week, but I thought the pay would be higher and the environment professional.

    

When I arrived for an interview I was greeted by the Security Supervisor who had trouble with his English or maybe trouble speaking at all. Understand here that the job description included good communication skills, written and verbal, in English. I was to work for a man who did not fit the job requirements.

    

This fellow told me that they were having as many as two cars stolen per day before he took over as head of security. He said that it came to employees leaving their car windows open so that when a car was stolen the windows were not broken.

    

It was at that point that he made it clear that when he said “a car was stolen” he meant that a car had been broken into and the radio stolen. I can imagine the local law enforcement loves talking to this man.

    

I learned that I may be called to the lobby during my working hours to deal with rowdy mentally ill patients. I would be given training to do this as well as CPR and the like. All this for twenty five percent over the minimum wage.

    

He asked if he would get a response from the contact numbers I had provided and I told him that two of the three companies I’ve worked for no longer exist, but that I could bring in my payroll records.

    

I brought in my records the next day and he then explained that I would also need to provide my own uniforms for this job but that if I stayed on I would get a three percent raise every year. In addition, I would need a physical to get the job.

    

I got to the point where they had called me in to sign the wavers for the physical when I backed out. If I had taken the job I would have given up part of my unemployment and if I lost the job I could have lost my benefits entirely. I think the reason this job was open was that no one would want it.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

Halfway Home

Okay, someone just tell me that this is a misprint or something. A sociology degree for a Security Guard? Well, I applied to the job just hoping they would mail me back and set the record straight.

              

Well, if not maybe I have a job.

7^th October 2011

Dear (Halfway Home)

I am responding to a very odd ad you folks posted on Craigslist for a security officer position. You appear to require a Bachelor’s in Social Work, and I have never seen a security job require that before.

I have my BA in Psychology and over ten years of security experience. I was laid off at the beginning of this year and took that time to finish my degree.

I have had some contact with the homeless at the work place, but none with troubled youth.

I do have to say this is the first time I’ve seen this list of requirements for a Security Officer.

In any case I have attached my résumé to this email so you may consider me for the job.

Thank you,

Richard Leland Neal

Lost Dog Comes Home

Let me remind you that I send these letters as a means of making someone feel better so if this is too candy for you my apologies. I thought this was a nice anecdote, and I hope you do as well.

3^rd September 2011

Dear Cassi,

A few days ago the most curious event took place that I know you would like to hear about. The darkness of night had well taken my neighborhood, but the heat of the day had not yet given up its hold. I trod out the front door to water the flowerbed when I saw a black shape at the end of my street.

    

At first I thought it was a child shrouded in the darkness with the street lamps to dim to give it shape. As the thing moved I could see that it was in fact a large black and white dog. I stood without moving as the animal approached. It sniffed at me but gave me little notice.

    

I walked after it as it passed, and I could see a collar on the animal’s neck. Finding him friendly, I examined his ornament to find that he had no tag. I went and got a few dog biscuits to see if the dog had been out long, and as he took no interest in food I could tell he had recently gone astray.

    

On his caller there was a handle which I took into my hand and the dog responded the way my own August would by walking along with me on the path he knew so well. I figured his best chance was for me to let him lead the way home. If I turned him into the animal authority he would have no chance unless he had a microchip in his back. I had to find the old dog’s home or abandon him to euthanasia.

    

We walked together for half a mile, and as I passed along I asked whoever I came across. You find folks all over at that time of night where I live. Finally I found a family who said the dog lived next door to them, and that his name was Alex. However, when I tried to take the dog to that house he resisted. I let go of his caller, and he ran.

    

He went across the street and scratched at a white gate. I grabbed his caller again and took him to the front door. I rang the bell and two men answered. I asked if they knew the dog and the first man said, “Yeah, how did you find me?” I told him that the dog had just brought me there. He told me that he had named the dog after the Spanish word for wanderer.

    

Old dogs just need understanding as do most folks. We don’t need guides but gentle souls to walk with us and we can find our way home.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

Letters to Cassi and Other Folks

One of the most memorable conversations in my life is one I had with my friend Cassi. I believe it was in two thousand ten that I came about to ask her if the real paper letters I write her have any worth. She said that not only did they lift her spirits, but that she kept a few of them with her wherever she went to read when she felt down. That was a statement that made a lasting impact on me.

 From the time I was eight I had wanted to be a writer, and the last thing my mother gave me before her death had been a microphone so I could record my ideas on tape. The written word and I had a love-hate relationship back then and, well, we still do, but even in the darkest hours of my life some form of written art seep from my soul like blood from a wound. Here those words had finally had an impact on someone. More importantly, they had brought comfort to the pained, even if in a small way, and that was what stayed with me.

I’ve always like the feeling of helping people and that is what made me decide to start posting my letters on the internet. Will they ever truly help people? Probably not, unless you count the aforementioned Cassi, but as the letters abound I’ve nothing to lose...