My Dear Cousin - A Car Hit Me

18^th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

At some point I was hit by a car. This may feel off topic given my last letter, but it fits into the overall narrative to my life. You see, I was changing a tire when the car shifted and fell. It wasn’t my car and the owner had forgotten the parking brake.

So the car fell and clipped me. The car clipped me on the side and left a five percent bend in my spine. This placed me in the worst health of my life. I ballooned up to four hundred and fifteen pounds and I had trouble cleaning myself. It made me a diabetic.

The chair in my work room couldn’t take the weight, and it bent causing me to get another one. The only thing was that my work room was so much a mess that I had trouble getting the old chair out and the new chair in. I couldn’t stand for more than fifteen minutes at a time without major pain.

I came home one night and one of my cats was missing. I asked (Pickle) where he was as the cat was never supposed to leave the house. (Pickle) said he let him out and didn’t feel like chasing him to get him back in.

 Well, a few days after that, it could have been a week or two now that I think of it, I was still trying to get my chair back in my work room and I sat down on the couch and was watching something on my phone. I had my laptop set up in the living room at the time which was something I take to work every day.

(Pickle) freaked out and started screaming. He thought I was transferring things to the living room from the work room I think, but he never talked to me about it. He called (Pony Girl) and started complaining. You have to understand that (Pickle) has sensitive ears. He kind of needs to live in a quiet house.

I was furious; I ran up to him and said “Give me the damn phone.” I told (Pony Girl) I was upset over (Pickle) letting the cat out and him never returning. I felt he had gotten the old cat killed and that looks to be true. (Pickle) winced when he heard that, he knew he was in trouble.

(Pony Girl) said “are you saying you want to sell the house” and I said no. The details of the argument are a little fuzzy at the moment but I believe (Pony Girl) came and picked him up. I never saw him again.

Best,

 

Richard Leland Neal

My Dear Cousin - Money Doesn’t Run

16^th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

In my last letter I told you that I had gotten a lawyer to address (Yule)’s estate. (Pony Girl)’s lawyer stated that he had no estate of any kind. She said the man was flat broke when he died. This would lead to the question of where the check for five thousand dollars came from that (Pony Girl) had given to me. What happened to the house under living trust is still something I don’t know, and what money the old man had is still being researched.

(Pony Girl) has been demanding that I pay her rent for the house I live in. The house I live in is under trust and only the trust can make that demand. I think this has just been some kind of scare tactic but if the trustee dies I think she can force me to sell the place. I don’t know.

At some point (Pickle) said that (Pony Girl) was going to sue for her part of the house. When I asked why he said that she was going to sue me for her part of the house if I sued her for my part of the old man’s estate. I may point out here that this means that (Pony Girl) not only committed perjury in court, having said there was no estate, but felony larceny as she had taken the money to deprive me of it.

Further, I had at this point spent more than ten thousand dollars on legal fees and (Pony Girl) was dragging this out to try and outspend me. Jokes on her, the lawyer is following the money and wants to get paid for their work. They believe that in the end there will be money and are letting me slide on the bills.

I guess this just proves what I knew the whole time. Blood is thicker than water, but money doesn’t run.

Best,

 

Richard Leland Neal

 

My Dear Cousin - Get a Lawyer

14th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

After the death of my old man it came to me that he had to have left an estate. Well, it came to me that as (Pony Girl) was his power of attorney she would have put all his money in her bank account and I would have been left high and dry. There was a living trust at some point so I was entitled to something.

I mentioned this to (Pickle) and a five thousand dollar check arrived in short order. I then asked for an accounting of the old man’s estate and was ignored. I then said if I didn’t get an account of my father’s estate I would need to consult a lawyer.

Somehow, I found myself talking to (Pickle) who was talking to (Pony Girl) over the phone. I said “am I getting an accounting or a lawyer?” (Pickle) said “she said ‘get a lawyer’”, and I did. It’s funny that the check for five thousand dollars went to the lawyer, and I may not have been able to retain one without that money.

(Pony Girl), of course, already had a lawyer who was doing her best to make my life hell. This was the same lawyer who ‘accidentally’ drew up paperwork to have me sign away my part of my home. I think I have the better lawyer being that mine specializes in estate law.

You should have seen the lawyer I hired. He volunteers as an armed guard at Synagogues. You would swear he’s Rodney Dangerfield’s brother. He has one hand that is missing a finger, but the old man is the kind of person that puts you at ease.

There is a part of me that felt a cold wind in my soul over all this, because I never believed that (Pony Girl) would take it this far. Well, no, I knew she would take it this far but never wanted to believe she would.

Some people, am I right?


Richard Leland Neal

My Dear Cousin - Ego Solus

12th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

I can tell you a funny thing about my old man passing, (Pony Girl) said his remains where to go to his ex-wife. I learned this when I wanted to visit the grave and mourn alone. (Pickle) would later tell me that his ashes where at (Pony Girl)’s house.

You may ask why I did not attend the funeral, and that would be a good question. Truth be told, I felt the family had long since been poisoned against me and that there was no making amends. There was no coming to them because they had already made my life so hard that I couldn’t deal with them and grief.

If there are people in your life you want to reconnect with you need to do it now. You need to take the time to see their side of things and be willing to make things right. With that family of mine they had made it clear that I would accept what I was given and pay what they asked me for it. What they wanted in return was always more than the value of what they gave.

A narcissist will often plant and idea in a person’s head and we humans aren’t all that bright enough to let that idea be put down by reason. The idea needs to be knocked out of our heads and that takes some damage. When I needed them the most those people turned their backs on me, and I think we have past the point where there is anything they can do to make it up to me.

In my art work I often write the words in Latin ‘Ego Solus’ under the symbol of the man alone. Ego Solus means I alone as I am alone. I stand alone in a world that stands against me and I will never give up.

Best,


Richard Leland Neal

My Dear Cousin - The Owl at Night

10th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

The process of writing these is taking a lot out of me. It hurts to go over these old memories but I need to get it done. I need to bleed it out of myself and so here I am bleeding. With every letter I read the letters I’ve sent and try to normalize myself to the memories. I try to look at the pain and live with it.

Where were we? (Pickle) had suffered acts of violence against me and my sister was off with her husband pulling the strings on his life. Then (Yule) passed away.

I got a text from (Pony Girl) telling me he had a heart attack and I responded with “I was told to leave and never come back, and nothing will change that.” Then she told me that he had died in a text message. She told me the old man died by text. I still can’t get over that.

I wanted to call her and tell her how rude that was but then I guess it wouldn’t have mattered in the end. What was done was done and it wasn’t time to rub salt in the wound.

He was gone and that was that. I couldn’t cry for the old man. I mean, he treated me as if all his problems were my fault and that his life would be better had I never been born. He never really tried to reach out to me or make things right. He just kept pretending that he was the perfect father and that I was not worth his time.

I went to work that night and a small owl visited me at the homeless shelter. I was guarding the front gate and sitting alone in the darkness with almost everyone having come in for the night. I was alone with the owl and we looked at each other with some understanding.

I want to believe that owl was the old man’s spirit coming to make peace. I want to believe that, but I don’t. I believe that was a burrowing owl who can down and though I looked interesting. Truth is that the more I say that owl was the old man’s spirit the more a part of my mind thinks it and it does make me feel better.

Best,



Richard Leland Neal