My Dear Cousin - Pray for that Child

8th June 2021

My Dear Cousin,

I should mention at some point that (Pony Girl) had a child. I guess you know that, but I’ve never met him. She didn’t want him and her chances of having a child were always low, but what can happen will and she had a son.

(Pickle) has told me that he looks just like me. Or rather he looks just like I did at his age. He is the picture of our kind. It’s funny how my roots come clear at times. I wonder what he’s like or rather what he will be like, but then knowing my family he’ll turn out broken like the rest of us.

(Pony Girl) has never spoken of him to me and only (Pickle) has mentioned him and is love for the boy is somewhat worrying. (Pickle) killed mother’s chickens in play and burst blood vessels in his dog’s ears. He can be a dangerous man to be around.

If the boy knows of me at all, or ever will, I know (Pony Girl) will speak ill of me and so poison him against me. It is better that he never know me. Let me be a ghost in his mind even if he thinks of me as some demon.

I do recall once (Pony Girl)’s mother in law coming to my house and babbling on about if I wanted a choice in anything I should pay for my own repairs. I doubt she was told that I had been promised money for college and was only trying to get what was mine. I know no one told her that I had been told I would never get my money out of the house.

You can turn anyone into a villain if you don’t tell the world what you did to them. (Pony Girl) can really spin a yard of how horrible a man I am if you don’t mention the fact that she tried to turn me into her servant. (Yule) told the world what a bad son I was without mentioning how little he did as a parent.

So I will never see my nephew, and he could be better off without me complicating his life. Being an only child he could become a narcissist like his mother.

I remember that I once found a cat that (Pony Girl) adopted. She took the cat when she moved out and once brought it back when she went on vacation. That cat had been a loving animal when it left my home. The last time I saw her she was mean and would hiss at anyone who touched her.

Pray for that child,



Richard Leland Neal

Letter to a Soldier: Lost Three Guards

I had forgotten about the time we had lost three guards at once and I was working so many hours that I couldn’t tell my head from my tail.

Would I trade now for then? Yeah, the economy was better.

25^th June 2007

Dear (Soldier),

Well, we lost another guard, and another guard, and another guard. I didn’t get to know number two but the first man was a long time officer and the last was a big guy who was new. The older guard quit because they started messing with his overtime. They can’t get people and now I’m working ridiculous amounts of overtime. It seams as if they should leave well enough alone.

(The big guy) was terminated, really terminated, for scribbling on the guard shack. I’ve been working double time all week because of this. It’s worse than normal. I really hope that I get a reliable guard in the morning shift. Well, you play the hand your dealt.

(Your wife) called me the other day and we talked for two hours. We are getting on as old friends now. She is happy, or appears to be happy, with the way things are working out, and that is also good.

My writing has taken a dive this week. I’m just not feeling in much the mood for it lately. Yet the world doesn’t weight for moods. I was working on yet another short at work last night when I just felt so spent that I couldn’t go on. I propped myself up in a corner of the shack and spent most of the night in a half asleep half awake state.

My relief officer came half an hour early, but it was (the swing shift Guard). He has been in the United States for about two years and came early so that I could help him with his English. He’s a Pole. “I will never speak as you,” he keeps saying. I ended up leaving right on time and had to drop things off at the main gate, some paperwork, which my company had misplaced.

I have to say that the state of things is very discouraging. Then you have it worse then I so I shouldn’t complain. When I was at (the junior college) it seemed as if every time something came within my grasp it was pulled away. Now I wonder, having to stay late is a really big issue. I was thinking of taking three years more to get my degree yet now I just want to get out of security.

Anyway, my friend I hope all is well with you. I’m once again off to work. They haven’t told me yet, but I’m working a twelve again. At least I’m paid by the hour.

Peace and long life,

Richard Leland Neal