Sunlit Mirror - Dannie Abse

Letter to a Soldier: Lost Three Guards

I had forgotten about the time we had lost three guards at once and I was working so many hours that I couldn’t tell my head from my tail.

Would I trade now for then? Yeah, the economy was better.

25^th June 2007

Dear (Soldier),

Well, we lost another guard, and another guard, and another guard. I didn’t get to know number two but the first man was a long time officer and the last was a big guy who was new. The older guard quit because they started messing with his overtime. They can’t get people and now I’m working ridiculous amounts of overtime. It seams as if they should leave well enough alone.

(The big guy) was terminated, really terminated, for scribbling on the guard shack. I’ve been working double time all week because of this. It’s worse than normal. I really hope that I get a reliable guard in the morning shift. Well, you play the hand your dealt.

(Your wife) called me the other day and we talked for two hours. We are getting on as old friends now. She is happy, or appears to be happy, with the way things are working out, and that is also good.

My writing has taken a dive this week. I’m just not feeling in much the mood for it lately. Yet the world doesn’t weight for moods. I was working on yet another short at work last night when I just felt so spent that I couldn’t go on. I propped myself up in a corner of the shack and spent most of the night in a half asleep half awake state.

My relief officer came half an hour early, but it was (the swing shift Guard). He has been in the United States for about two years and came early so that I could help him with his English. He’s a Pole. “I will never speak as you,” he keeps saying. I ended up leaving right on time and had to drop things off at the main gate, some paperwork, which my company had misplaced.

I have to say that the state of things is very discouraging. Then you have it worse then I so I shouldn’t complain. When I was at (the junior college) it seemed as if every time something came within my grasp it was pulled away. Now I wonder, having to stay late is a really big issue. I was thinking of taking three years more to get my degree yet now I just want to get out of security.

Anyway, my friend I hope all is well with you. I’m once again off to work. They haven’t told me yet, but I’m working a twelve again. At least I’m paid by the hour.

Peace and long life,

Richard Leland Neal

Letters to a Soldier: the Second Letter to His Family

This isn’t the first letter I sent to the family of a soldier stationed in Iraq, but it is slightly more composed than the last.

11^th June 2011

Dear Everyone,

(The Soldier) called last night around twelve-thirty. It was the first time we actually got to talk since he got shipped out. The last time he called he got my voice mail. We had so much to say to each other and so little time to talk. I think it was the end of his shift again, but we didn’t talk about that much.

He said that he brought fifty books to Iraq with him, so he has no shortage of reading material. He asked me to send him gloves for the punching bag, and I already have some I can send off today. Mail takes about five days to get to him from us and about three weeks to get to us from him. He said that’s why he didn’t write, but I told him he should anyway if he has the time.

Here is the part none of you are going to like: wile we were on the phone he could see an explosion from his position. It was far enough off so that I could not hear it but close enough to surprise (the Soldier). Frankly, if it were a mile away it would probably feel like it was right by your shoulder. He didn’t seem to worry about it, and it did no damage to anything that he could see, just a puff in the sand, nothing more. It reminded me of the cold reality of this situation and our need to be honest with each other and set aside our differences. The trials of our daily lives are but ghosts and foolery to what (the Soldier) is going through.

There are so many times I wish I could have back. So many moments in the fifteen years that I have known (the Soldier) that are lost to me now as time does its inevitable ticking away.  I tend to be the man to see him off every time he comes around and every time I do so I feel as if we are letting him down in some way. I always think we should do something like sing “He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” or some other acknowledgment. I don’t know some expression of our love and support.

Yours truly,

Richard Leland Neal

Letter to a Soldier: the Two Trainees

This letter was written during a very hard time in my life, and I’m pleased that I have some log of it. The past is a notation of things we have done, mistakes we have made, and other things we should remember.

As I have said, this is another of the letters to a soldier on deployment in Iraq. I gave him a rundown of my life in order to have something to say.

You can tell me if I was a good friend.

 

 

2^nd June 2007

Dear (Soldier),

I know it has not been long since my last letter, but to be honest your mother sent me a video, via email, and it has been bothering me from the day she sent it over. It spoke for the soldiers in Iraq saying things like “don’t you remember me?” and “Did I do something to make you angry?”

Does your mother feel that we have forgotten you? She sent that video to lots of people so I don’t think so, but it bothered me as much as it bothered (your wife). I never knew how difficult this business would be for every one. It’s funny how the ruined mind always thinks the world should be so pristine and that the small problems rate the same attentions as the large. We tend to snap and jeer at one another over small things, and forget the larger problems.

Well, enough on philosophies. Work is just as bad as it was in my last letter. The night after I posted it we had to trainees (Trainee 1), on his second day, and (Trainee 2), on his first. It was this night that the supervisor, give us hour lunches again. He didn’t tell me this until after my lunch, so he let me take half an hour later on. 

I could tell that (Trainee 2) was having problems from the first minute he was on post. They decided to have him work inbound log and the first question he had was: “Do the truck drivers fill this out?” Right, we stand here and hold the paper work and the driver does all the work for us. That’s what security work is like you just stand around making sure that ever one does the right thing. Writing down the logs was too much work for him. It was a bad sign.

During the slow times I got to talk to him. I asked him my usual questions. Is this your first post? “I can’t count how many posts I’ve been on.” Have you worked the company long? “Two years.” How did you end up with this shift? “School, I’m a full time student.” This wasn’t the place for him, but he was stuck here. Well, what ever, this isn’t the place for me either, and I’m just as stuck. I’m told he objected to getting on the rolling stairways we use to seal the trailer tops, but (Trainee 1) didn’t like doing it any more than (Trainee 2) did from what I could see.

(Trainee 2) took his lunch around 0311. He didn’t ask for permission because (the site supervisor) was not around to ask. 0400 came around and he didn’t show but I said he had been late so just let him have another ten or so. At 0420 (the site supervisor) told me to take my second half hour and I found (Trainee 2) sleeping in his car. I told (the site supervisor) who said “wake him up and send him home.” I woke him and told him all about what happened. He was upset, but not too upset, more upset then I would have been.    

That’s the story of the one-day guard. I told him to call the boss in the morning, and have him come up with what to do about this situation. We lost two guards that day, (Trainee 2) and one of the guards that walked out early the two days that client management decided to pay me a visit. As it stands, we are now two guards short, the 2100 to 0500 spot and the 2200 to 0600 spot. We lose 1.33 guards every week.

All this must be boring the flaming snot balls out of you. Don’t feel alone; the work is uninteresting to me as well because of the lack of interesting people. I don’t think this experience is as good for my writing as my last job. Then I’m caught between working on plays and working on books. When I work on plays it makes me want to work on books, but right now I need to work on plays.

(Pickle) came up with another line that just has to be in a play. “If you got drafted I’d have to pay all the bills myself.”  I’m trying to come up with another comedy that works with my “family”. It isn’t as easy as it sounds or reads, rather, but there are two many good lines to give up. 

I know you can’t talk about your work, and that’s no big deal. I don’t suppose you interact with the locals much either, but the imagination is always more interesting then the truth when it comes to the cloak and dagger stuff anyway. I worked with a man that served as an MP in Iraq and he told me that when he was shot at he had to write less then when he found damaged freight in the cross dock.

It’s been a crazy few days over here in the states. I hope things are going well for you in the sand box. If I happen by a nice specimen bottle I’ll send it down your way, and you can fill it with sand. It would be kind of cool to have a piece of Iraq.

Peace and long life

Richard Leland Neal

Letter to a Soldier: Sick at Work

I have to say that I don’t recall all the events listed here. It’s been four long years and a lot of headaches since. These letters were written in an effort to keep up the spirits of a soldier station in Iraq working in military intelligence.

You all can tell me if I was being a good friend.

The man mentioned in this letter as “roommate” had told the soldier’s wife that he was intentionally being cruel to her so she would not become attracted to him. Why anyone would let a man like that live with his wife I have no idea.

1^st June 2007

Dear (Soldier),

(Your wife) asked me to tell you that (her roommate) is moving out. Apparently, it had something to do with his girlfriend dumping his worthless ass. She said that from an economic stand point it’s no big deal, because he is useless and expensive, but I can’t imagine you think this is a good thing.

I told your mom and dad that you called, and they were all happy to hear it, and your mom said she would tell your grandmother. I know you really can’t say much about what’s going on down there so don’t go into it, but I still wonder if they got (the intelligence man with the discipline problem) to go.

There was a big hubbub at work when I got back from the three day weekend. The client reported one guard on duty, me, at 0410 in the morning on Wednesday. The time sheets indicated four guards on post including the supervisor. This all got back to me at 1912 Wednesday after noon when I got a call from the roving account manager, who asked what had happened. 

When I told him he flipped and said “that’s bullshit, that is bullshit,” and then told me that (the big man), a guard in the supporting position of my gate, had gone home because he had not been feeling well. He had gotten tattoos the day before and hurt his leg. My manager asked me to come to post as soon as possible.

I made it there by 2000 hours, and (the site supervisor) came around 2020. He gave reprimands to the two other guards who had left early. The client gate manager came at 0200 hours to check and see if they had given me adequate support for the night and my Officer in Command arrived at 0300.

The only big thing is that I had over exerted myself the day before and had an infection in my throat. My mouth kept filling with goo, and I had to excuse my self to spit the clear slime in the bushes. By 0800 I had a fever and that staid with me until burning itself out before I came to work the next day.

Well, that was my week or rather the few days from the date of my last letter. I hope you are doing well and can write me back soon.

Peace and long life,

Richard Leland Neal

Letter to a Soldier's Family

This is a letter to the family and friends, sent by email, of a soldier who was stationed in Iraq back in 2007. It’s a funny thing how that friendship ended.

I imagine this is a less than thrilling post, but I’m trying to post three letters a week here and I’m lucky if I get to writing one.

 

30^th May 2007

 

Dear everyone,

(The soldier) called me yesterday to let me know that he is getting my mail, and that he is not writing me back because he is working very hard and has little time for anything personal. I’ve told him more than once now that he should be calling (his wife) or his family, but it was good to hear from him.

He said that he had an important job, and that he is doing good things. He told me that it was all a good experience for him, but the better parts did not out way the bad, and that he longed to come back to us. He didn’t say more because he had very little time and just came off a twelve hour shift.

(His father, his mother,) your boy has turned into a responsible man, and I hope that you are all as proud of him as I am. 

Best wishes to you all,

Richard

Letter to a Soldier on Deployment in Iraq "News of the Week"

This was me being a good friend to a fellow who was in truth no friend of mine. Sometimes I would write to him three times a week.

Funny thing is being a good friend never did a thing for me.

In any case there was a lot going on in my life at the time, and all those wonderful plans I had then fell to dust. It comes to me that over my life everyone has fought with me and that fighting was all I could do.

Funny how it turns out that way.

29^th May 2007     

Dear (Soldier),

As always, I hope that my mail finds you in good health and I wish that I had something good to say. It’s the nature of the world that nothing wonderful happens or that something wonderful is happening every day dependent on your outlook on life.

My week was going well aside from the fact that I had not been to the gym more than once this week, then I arrived a work Friday looking forward to a three-day weekend. The first thing that happened was that my boss told me that I would be attending work Sunday. Not only had I already made plans, but I was leaving to spend the weekend with (our mutual friends) from work that morning. This put me in an understandably bad mood but there was nothing I could do about it so I limped along as you do until four o’clock.   

It was at that time when a man from the (Shipper’s) office came up to me and said “where are the other guards? Are you the only one out here?”

“Am I the only guard out here?” I looked around. Yep, one guard working four trucks, not good, “I have to be honest with you, sir, I have no idea where the other guards are.”

“I see,” he said and walked off.

As I was working on the trucks I could see him making a phone call from the guard house. He walked back up to me and said. “I left a voice mail with the head of security and your boss.”

That was when one of the guards did show up to get a major tongue lashing from the client. “He’s been out here alone for half an hour” and so forth.  Long story short my boss up at the office got a pissed off message from me, and he called me back and made hollow promises and gave me Sunday off.     

I spent the weekend watching movies, playing (video games), and cooking. It was fun. The fact that this was a group of men primarily put a damper in it but you have to take your fun as you can get it.

I just got your message. Sorry, my phone was charging in the next room. I hadn’t thought any of my mails had gotten to you yet. (Your step father) thought they would take three weeks. Did you get the letter with my play and the book? I Figured if you had not responded to my letter that you had a good reason so don’t worry too much about it. I remember working myself to death and not being able to write you.   

As far as the play goes I didn’t start out making a short, but it came to me that the jokes would get old after some time. It really is the same thing over and over again, and I couldn’t think of anything ells that would illustrate my point. I suppose that I could go through pregnancy and have the two of them pretend that they don’t have a thing going still, but the main thing is “did I get my point across.”

The other reason I’m working on short plays is because that’s what the school wants me to start with, and I need a good amount of them to bring the semester off right. I would like to show the class twenty pages of material a week and that is nearly double what I have now. That’s every thing I have written to this point doubled including both of my full length plays.

This class is the best opportunity I will have in my writing career, and I intend to fight for every thing I can get out of this experience. It really doesn’t look like I will have another shot at this, so I have to make it count.

Anyway, old friend, that is the news of the week. I’ve never been good at letters.

I hope I’m not boring you,


Richard Leland Neal   

Letter to a Soldier Stationed in Iraq

Well, here is a nuts and bolts account of my life back in 2007. Still, it’s not a letter to Cassi, but for the majority of May I’ll be looking up old files and posting them as I find them. As is plain, I do a good amount of editing these things. I have to admit, you’d never guess that the man I wrote this to was an abusive and insensitive husband, and later, nearly as bad of a friend.

21^st of May 2007

Dear (soldier I know),

It’s been a little over a week from the last time I wrote you. There haven’t been any earth-shaking changes over here, but then are there ever? My boss told me that I couldn’t take the refrigerator from my last post to my new post so I set it up in my bedroom by the TV. Mostly I just keep the drinks I take to work in it, but it’s useful in that regard. I plugged the cable box back in and generally rearranged my entertainment center. That basically means that I can dry my boots on the cable box again, but at least I get dry boots out of the deal instead of crap gathering dust.

My computer was overheating every time I played Command & Conquer three, so I put a fan on it blowing air across the front vents. It cleared that up completely. The eventual plan is to have a three fan air system, one across the face, one behind the computer blowing air up and away from the computer, and one blowing air across the monitor’s vents. This should keep the computer room temperature.       

I’m settling into my new post nicely. It sucks and that is never going to change, but I have begun going to the gym after work. The first time I messed myself up reasonably. It felt like someone had put led in my legs for three days afterwords. Then I drank one of those (energy drinks), the orange one, and I felt better in less than an hour. I don’t know what it is they put in those things that gave me those results, but I can tell you I’ll be getting more of them. They come in three flavors and keep me going something fierce, especially on those hard days at the start of my week. We both know going to the gym will never do much for me, but at least I try.

Anyway, (Your wife) told me that you only get one day off every two weeks, and what happened to your laptop has to suck for communication. I never got the whole story on that, fool, so you better tell me about it sometime.

It came to me that if I want to communicate we should do it the old way so I’m printing you out some envelopes and such and sending some stamps. I’m going to print ten envelopes with my address on them all ready for you and send ten more with nothing on them. I’m going to include a sheet of stamps and a copy of my latest one act. Use your head: write me letters on the back of the pages. A standard stamp can accommodate two ounces. I don’t know how many sheets that is, but it’s not bad. Not to mention I’m swimming in envelopes that I bought when the bloetoezzor was still in school.

I think you should spend the majority of your internet time with your wife, she needs you more, and your family so they don’t say your wife stole you from them. I think they felt the same way about me for some time there you know.

I also figured that you would have time to write letters more often than an e-mail, and this way it won’t cost you anything. Let’s face it, old friend, if we need to keep in touch that this is the best way.

The (Family and friends) might want to hear from you so I’ll bring your letters over to them. It will give me and excuse to say hello every now and again.

If you need to show me a larger file or need to back something up I’ll send you a USB drive. I have four of them and can afford to lose one, and I think they are light enough for standard postage.  

Anyway, man, let me know if there is anything I can do for you to make life easier.

Your friend,

Richard Leland Neal