Modern Day Fairy Tale

24^th January 2020

Hello there, (YouTube Channel),

I just read your craigslist ad for a writer and watched some of your Fairy Tale Friday with the segment about Willy Wonka so far being my number one. I guess it’s the one I can relate to the best being a large man who has had to keep his hands off the sweets. I think cocaine would make me thin, but it didn’t work for Chris Farley did it?

In any case, you can see my writing credits on IMDB https://www.imdb.com/name/nm9030649/#writer

And watch some of my work on AbsurdTV were I write and voiced many of the characters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XSf-FCc6LY&list=PLCFgpl-HbKCakK8dfI5b6rh2YzAHgykMY . Many of my jokes reflect politics or current topics, I was writing comedy news, but cursing and sexual comments were prohibited.

After watching a few of your shows I would say what jumps out at me is the teased story of the woman who sued McDonald’s for too hot coffee. It sounds like a silly thing, but someone’s grandma was in the hospital for eight days. A segment based on that would put the joke on the audience for having dismissed the news without looking further. Old light on a new topic.

Another idea would be to write a story about the crappy movie “Mortal Engines” likening it to Disney. The movie sucked and Disney eating up all the other studios and making the same movies over and over again sucks.

I wouldn’t mind writing a fairy tale about any modern political figure. The film “Underwater” could be likened to the finances of modern Americans. We are all under debt and some big monster, in real life he’s Orange and stinks, wants to take what little we have left. Give me a topic, I’ll write you a script.

I also think it would be funny as hell if I hosted and episode. I mean, I’m a big funny looking fat dude and we could do a Farley joke about it.

Best,

Richard Leland Neal

 

Miss Rohna’s Come to Town

I found this online, someone posted it as a YouTube comment back in August, and it felt important. I have to figure  that nursery rhymes are things we think of as being old. In the modern time, we are rediscovering their sinister nature and meaning much like fairy tails and the like.

Who knows, one day history books may include this song, or something like it, and I will have helped to record it for the masses. 

In this future, best not to forget our past.

 

 

 

                                     Miss Rohna’s Come to Town

Daddy’s at the food store, mummy can’t be found

She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came round

Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to town

Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down

Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today .

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to stay

Hide away, hide away, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today

And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say

Hide away, hide away, keep six feet away

Hide away, hide away, she brought us down today.

 

Miss Rhona wants our old folk, Miss Rhona wants our crowds

There's no one at the school, there's nobody around

Hide away, hide away, she'll wrap us in a shroud

Hide away, hide away, she'll leave us in the ground.

 

Daddy’s at the food store, mummy can’t be found

She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came round

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to town

Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down

Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today .

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to stay

Hide away, hide away, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today

And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say

Hide away, hide away, keep six feet away .

Hide away, hide away, she brought us down today.

 

Miss Rhona likes the children, we can't go out to play

Miss Rhona loves the children, she'll take our breath away

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to town

Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down

 

Daddy’s at the food store, mummy can’t be found

She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came round

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to town

Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down

Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today

Hide away, hide away, miss Rhona’s come to stay

Hide away, hide away, I’ll keep six feet away

But Gran needs toilet paper, I’ll take her some today

And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say

Hide away, hide away, keep six feet away

Hide away, hide away, she brought us down today.

Dear Theatre Instructor at (State College)

This is a letter I sent to my theater teachers by email. It’s not the most telling of letters, but If I want to put these out on a regular basis I can’t be that picky.

5th January 2007

Dear Theatre Instructor at (State College),

My name is Richard Neal and if you are receiving this E-mail I’m trying to add your class. I’m a transfer student from (a junior college) and if you have any questions about me you might want to ask (the set construction teacher) who has been a teacher there for years and knows me reasonably well. I’ve taken theatre craft, Stagecraft, makeup, costuming and scene painting at (the junior college). I have written two full-length plays and I will be attending (the state college) for Lighting and Sound.

Q: You slacker, why didn’t you just add my class when everyone else did?

A: Good question! There was a small error with my registration, and the admissions department couldn’t remember If I had holds or not. It should be all cleared up now, and everything should be in order.

Q: So, what do you need from me?

A: I’m glad you asked. It would be nice if you could tell me what chance I stand of getting in your class. If the answer is ‘slim to none’ I need to plan accordingly, and if the answer is “yes” then any thing you can tell me about your class would be helpful. If you would like me to see you before the first class meeting E-mail me back with the hours you will be available.

Here comes the part you’re not going to like. I work full time and often have to work over time. This is not the end of the world for my education plans. I wrote my first two plays at work, but the time I have to study depends on freight volumes.

From what I understand a healthy human should go over information seven times to know it for the rest of their life. Seven times, a tall order even for a student without work to worry about. That is why I’m contacting you early. I know what I’m up against, and it is ugly.

I do realize that some of my teachers will have no sympathy for a man in my position. That point was made painfully clear in the fall of two-thousand and six at (the junior college) when I limped into a class room getting glares of annoyance rather than concern from my instructors. That is what the real world is like “We have a competitive program here,” (the supervisor of undergraduate studies) said to me, “But the world is competitive.” So, I’m not expecting all my teachers to reply, but let me thank you in advance if you do.

Reply from the supervisor of undergraduate strides who taught “Art of The Theatre.” You will not that I reference talking to him in the letter

If you are a transfer from a jc, why haven't you been in to see me, so I can decide which of your classes will transfer. As undergraduate coordinator, I make all of those decisions. After that, we can talk about 200.

My reply to him on the 7th

I checked my transcripts today on line, and it said that I had 70 transferred units. Do you need a copy of my transcripts after I took scene painting? It doesn't look like I have any room left for more units but that is a question only you can answer. Also, what do I need to show people when I talk to a counselor about my Gen ed? Will they have everything or do I need copies of my transcripts from FJC and Rio?

Thanks for your help

His reply the same day.

Units may transfer to the university that do not transfer to our dept. If they transferred 70, I am assuming most of them are Gen Ed.

Reply from drafting teacher

Hello,

Come to my first class. I will try my best to fit you in but I won't know till I see who really shows up. Few might drop the class when they find out how much work this class requires.