My Dear Cousin - Never Come Back

14^th May 2021

My Dear Cousin,

So, where was I? The whole family and I had fought over that car the old man had given me. In exchange for that car I had been asked to leave and never come back never getting my part of my mother’s estate which had been an issue for the last sixteen years.

I did have it out with the old man. He called and asked me if I wanted his car after (Pony Girl) gave it back to him. He said I was unreasonable and he said I was a slob.  I am a slob, but I feel he was unreasonable. I would generally think that risking your son’s life by letting him drive his car with badly worn tires is unreasonable.

I guess he felt that not paying for the upkeep of a car you were asked to pay for over and over again as long as you owned it is unreasonable. Then, the old man was one to laugh at my problems when he didn’t want to deal with them, scream at them when they wouldn’t go away, and keep screaming because they stuck around.

When I quoted our conversation on the subject he said “Well I lied.” I had been saying “We had an agreement” for months. Then he said I had tried to hit my sister, and I informed him that I hadn’t even gotten within five feet of her. I then told him that her boyfriend had left a bruise on my arm and he said “well, that’s hard to prove, a bruise.” He knew I didn’t try to hit anyone.

 

It’s hard to say how deep that cut me. He didn’t care about the truth or me or my well being. My family thought of me as something to be exploited. If I wasn’t going to profit them then I wasn’t worth having around. 

I reminded the old man that he told me I couldn’t call the police on my brother unless he hit me with an ax.

“Was I smiling when I said that?” he asked.

“No, you were screaming,” I said, and I had to come to grips at that point with the idea that the man didn’t care about me. I hung up the phone and pushed it from my mine.

Well, what do you expect from my old man? He was unfit to keep a dog. That is quite literal, at some point we wound up with a dog that had been his that he could no longer care for because it hurt someone. The poor thing came to me being eaten alive by a fungus that caused his skin to bleed. 

It’s an ugly world I come from.

Best,

 

Richard Leland Neal

 

 

Disowned

18^th July 2014

Dear Cassi,

Today I was given paperwork requesting that I sign over my home to Pony Girl and Pickle. Can you say with any sincerity that I am wrong in thinking of myself without family? This would be the third attempt at removing me from my mother’s estate, and so I have no option but to ignore it as I have ignored the last two. There is no crime in asking for the unreasonable only in forcing the unreasonable. The offence is moral not legal.

Still, there has been a crime committed and recommitted over the years cutting at me and braking down my sensibilities. Why have I not done better in my life? Why am I still at the mercy of these monsters? Is it that I am lazy or simply so damaged as a man, or could the world I live in be to blame?

I remember the first time Pony Girl tried to take my home from me. She came home from her college graduation and insisted we sell the house. When I said no she said that she would have me removed from my mother’s estate. Aunt Cabbage “will do it because she’s daddy’s sister” Pony Girl said to me and she honestly thought this was true.  I talked to old Cabbage about it and she said she wouldn’t do anything like that but now I’m not so sure she was telling the truth.

The second time was when Pony Girl moved out. She talked to Cabbages daughter (I haven’t come up with a name for her yet) and look for ways to have me declared derelict on the property. That was a total failure, because she had paid less than I on the subject.

Now here is the last time. They sent the paperwork over and at first I didn’t even look at it but Pickle insisted that I at least read the bundle of forms. I did, and it named me as a seller and not a buyer of the property. They had paperwork to take my home away from me. Can I now call myself anything but disowned?

What will the future hold for me, Cassi, will I one day be homeless like those I protect? I don’t know. I can say is that I have a long road ahead and little to guide me. I know I need to fight but I’m not sure I’ve even known how.

                                           

Stay safe, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal