My Dear Cousin - The White Car

11^th May 2021

My Dear Cousin,

After the first time I lost my job back in two thousand and two keeping a job turned out to be harder than I thought. I was with my next company for months until they sold and some mishandled paperwork left me unemployed again. The company I worked for after that kept me in and out of work for many a reason.

All of this time I plodded along in college not taking my education that seriously, because I was waiting for help from my family. As I said, my two siblings got help, (Pony Girl) money every month for four years and (Pickle) every dime of his education covered. My stepbrothers even had their education paid for from what I understand. They went to trade school to become surgical techs.

The truth there was that any assistance I ever got bothered two people. The first was (Pony Girl) because that meant less for her, the second was my stepmother. I’m not sure about the story there, but the stepmother was a thief who ran off with anything she could get her hands on from my house.

I can tell you, once the old man walked up to me, said he was mad at his wife, and because of this he was giving me money. I guess he had paid for two of her kids and two of his own and anything pass that was just too much for his old bag.

Well, I started having car trouble being too poor to keep the car up, pay for school, keep the house up, and deal with the demands of my two siblings living with me and always trying to push me to buy them something or other.

In any case, the old man got himself a new car and wanted to give me the old one. I said no because I knew he would just hang it over my head. This went on for a month or two until my car finally died, and I just had to take him up on the offer.

This thing was a white 1997 Saturn SL2 with a moderate amount of body damage. It was bad enough so that people kept mentioning it to me, and a few times the cops pulled me over. He also gave it to me so filthy that no one wanted to sit in the back seat.

I remember I called him up and said “So what happens to my car?” He said “that’s none of my business.” And I said “I can live with that.” As soon as I got the white car home (Pony Girl) screamed “he gave you that car” out of nowhere. Then she went about making it clear that this would be her car that I paid for.

Naturally, I didn’t like that idea but the first time I was going to drive it anywhere she took my keys. I remember she was with her boyfriend, eventually husband, and she was saying “I don’t trust your driving”.  

Finally I snapped and screamed at her to give me my keys back. She threw them on the ground and walked off. I went to the store alone. Taking that car turned out to be a deal with the devil. It would only get worse from there.

Best,

 

Richard Leland Neal

 

Disowned

18^th July 2014

Dear Cassi,

Today I was given paperwork requesting that I sign over my home to Pony Girl and Pickle. Can you say with any sincerity that I am wrong in thinking of myself without family? This would be the third attempt at removing me from my mother’s estate, and so I have no option but to ignore it as I have ignored the last two. There is no crime in asking for the unreasonable only in forcing the unreasonable. The offence is moral not legal.

Still, there has been a crime committed and recommitted over the years cutting at me and braking down my sensibilities. Why have I not done better in my life? Why am I still at the mercy of these monsters? Is it that I am lazy or simply so damaged as a man, or could the world I live in be to blame?

I remember the first time Pony Girl tried to take my home from me. She came home from her college graduation and insisted we sell the house. When I said no she said that she would have me removed from my mother’s estate. Aunt Cabbage “will do it because she’s daddy’s sister” Pony Girl said to me and she honestly thought this was true.  I talked to old Cabbage about it and she said she wouldn’t do anything like that but now I’m not so sure she was telling the truth.

The second time was when Pony Girl moved out. She talked to Cabbages daughter (I haven’t come up with a name for her yet) and look for ways to have me declared derelict on the property. That was a total failure, because she had paid less than I on the subject.

Now here is the last time. They sent the paperwork over and at first I didn’t even look at it but Pickle insisted that I at least read the bundle of forms. I did, and it named me as a seller and not a buyer of the property. They had paperwork to take my home away from me. Can I now call myself anything but disowned?

What will the future hold for me, Cassi, will I one day be homeless like those I protect? I don’t know. I can say is that I have a long road ahead and little to guide me. I know I need to fight but I’m not sure I’ve even known how.

                                           

Stay safe, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

On Resolutions

This isn’t a letter but it fit the right category in terms of what it is so think of it as a letter to myself. I don’t think I met any of my resolutions, but maybe whoever reads this might be bettered by it.

4^th December 2006

On resolutions

So I have to ask a question: Why resolutions at the start of a new year? As today I complete my twenty-seventh year of life it occurred to me that I should set goals for the upcoming year. I could hold over another twenty-seven days until the New Year, but why would I make such a distinction?

When my old car finally died I made a resolution not to go through fast food places with the next car. No ordering from the driver’s seat. No more leaving piles of trash in my car. It’s working out vary well. I’ve lost ten pounds.

So, as I set my car resolutions for when I got another car, I set my Richard resolutions for the start of another year of my life.

Okay so hear goes:

Resolution 1: No paper money at the snack machines. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be using them at all, but let’s be reasonable here. I’m at work, I can’t leave, so that’s one way of reducing the amount I spend. Given that the main source of my coin money came from fast food purchases, and I now eat less fast food this should work marvelously. Not to forget that the second major source of coinage comes from using paper money at the snack machines.

Resolution 2: By my next birthday all equipment must be ready to use or cataloged and stored. Right now I have at least five printers and four computers that I either need to do something with or trash. I have piles of tools that I can’t get to when I need them and any number of other devices that just haven’t been hooked up.   

Resolution 3: No more loose paper work. File it or toss it. This is not to say that I will get rid of the piles and piles of bill stubs and other records, but the point is that I should generate no more piles of them.

Okay, so that’s it I have one year to accomplish these three things. I’m making the generality that resolutions should come when appropriate. When you set goals for school then set them at the start of a new semester. Set goals for a car when you buy it or smog it or what ever. Don’t wait for the New Year unless that has some reason to it.