Assistant Cover Letter

20th April 2023

Hi (Art Person),

It looks to me like you’re looking for something of an assistant. Rather a few of them I guess. I’m just looking to pay my bills. (A family) passing left me with some bad legal business and it’s costly. I have a night job and need a day job.

So, about me, well, I’m a man of Irish continence and having that very Irish ability to talk for hours without making people want to leave I will never bore you. People have said that my head is a vast store of off facts. Still, I’m normally the fellow your dog is always happy to see. We share a love of film and museums and I would be happy to accompany you to every film I haven’t seen. When I used to cook for (family) I always made a point of making balanced meals while trying new things. People say I’m patient, knowledgeable, and artistic.

In any case, you’ve never met a man like me. In my working life a good number of people have commented on how much they enjoyed running into me. If you give me an interview I can promise that you’ll want to hire me but I can say you’ll remember the experience.

Best,



Richard Leland Neal

Why Didn’t I Listen To Me

If there is one thing I know about myself it is that I don’t give up easily. I fought with my father until it became clear it wasn’t worth having him in my life, I was friends with this person until he became miserable to be around, and finally I was a theatre student until my teachers honestly wouldn’t tell me how to look for work.

If only I had listened to myself back in 2007 and left the theater major I could have had three college degrees by now.

7^th October 2007

Dear (soldier deployed in Iraq),

It’s been some time and I haven’t written because school has been such a pain in my ass. The first thing that happened was that I was told I couldn’t work on any of my pre existing scripts in class. The second thing that happened was that everything I turned in was said to be not interesting enough. That includes every play I sent you. 

It really is time I change majors and move on to something more reasonable or at least give up writing entirely. There is one possibility and that is to give one of my full length scripts to the department chair and see if she wants to put it on. I have little confidence in this idea but with no other option I must do so.

I will be handing her “Levi” with “student written play” on the first page. I’d say there is a 50% possibility that I will get her to read it and even less then that that it will be put on. Well, what can I do, old friend, time is short and this 17 unit semester is kicking my ass. Anyway, I’m going to e-mail this, and if I don’t get a response I’ll snail mail it by Friday.

Stay safe out there,

Richard