Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder - Thomas Haynes Bayly

Who Lies - Bosnian Proverb

 

More than I can Accomplish - Michelangelo

New Life Code

I wrote this more than a year ago and it applies to my life just as well today as it did then. This is a post form my other blog so to some extent I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul but I feel this just makes good reading.

21^st January 2011

This is the Situation, Now Deal with it!

How many times in life have I heard an inspirational line of bull about bad situations? ‘Every development is an opportunity!’ ‘When life hands you a lemon make lemonade.’

If I may test that with a few situations I’ve been in: When I was ten my mother died of cancer. Lemonade any one? Nope, I don’t feel better.

When I was twenty-two I overloaded my kidneys. That looked more like orange soda to me.

When I was twenty-five my father gave the money for my college education to my sister so she could buy a home. I suppose you could look at the bright side but it will never equal the thirty grand my sister got. No, at the end of the day I just need to deal with that and move on.

So that’s my new life motto “This is the situation, now deal with it.”

Okay, the situation is that I just joined the 12.4% of Californians who are unemployed. I have a year of unemployment and some savings. My life has always been a mess; at least from the day my mother died twenty one years ago, so around finishing my degree and finding a new job I can always spend a few hours a day picking up the pieces. 

I’ve always wanted to reboot my life, reread every book I own, watch every movie again, get my health in order and get my head where it should be. That was a fancy, a delusion, and a fool’s errand, but if I find a job on Monday at least I’ll be able to say that I finally got to that pile of laundry. 

Marry Un-birthday

4^th December 2011

Dear Cassi,

So here it is, the anniversary of my birth, and I spend it as I would any other day my washing machine isn’t working. With the down beat of dirty clothes I recall the worst birthday I ever had.

       

I do believe this happened back in two thousand six. It would be the last time I requested a birthday celebration. I had called one of the Yorba Linda crowd and informed them of the occasion. He invited me down for a day of video games, and that is as far as the event went. Truly, half rump is the tone of all their workings in that neck of the woods.

       

I came home from work that day and slept shortly then rose and drove down to an apartment where a Local Area Network had been setup. We played some variant of War Craft where no bass was built. When it was over I went home showered and returned to work. That was all, I later learned that only two, myself included, of the six or seven of us knew the occasion.

       

At work that night the real festivities begun and sleep deprivation set in. I began to hallucinate, seeing movement where there was none, and looking every which way in the grip of some irrational paranoia. I remember that I couldn’t sit down as sitting would bring on sleep so I stood. My feet grew sore and swollen from having spent too long in boots over the passing weeks and the cold cut into me through my work clothes.

       

I had never before or since felt so strongly the elements than on that day, and I have never again made plans for a birthday celebration. They have never turned out well but that one was the worst.

Marry un-birthday to you, Cassi.

Richard Leland Neal

Getting Old - Bob Hope

Return to the Night Shift

1^st December 2011

Dear Cassi,

Returning to the night shift has been easier than I thought. I thought I would have to spend my shift standing up to get through the night. In truth the night shift was like an old friend I was coming back to not at all the wrestling match it had been. 

       

Part of it is the patrols. I think I pull two miles of walking every night and at least eight trips up the stairwells. I’m so out of shape that I can feel it in my heart when I take long walks. The heart has so much to do with the head that getting me up and moving about helps keep me awake.

       

I’ve worked at places where it breaks you down after a few months, but I don’t think there is enough walking on this post to do much to me physically.

       

The energy drinks are a part of my life but only on Mondays for the most part. That’s the one thing I have trouble with, because I can’t get to sleep during the day on the weekends. I’ve no idea why that would be, given that this way I only sleep six times a week. Then if you think about it I’m getting eight hours on the competition.

       

Another thing I do to stay up is chew gum. The action of chewing keeps me up. That doesn’t help a huge amount, just takes the edge off, still taking the edge off is enough.

       

Overall, I’m glad that I’m back on nights, but I’m happier that I’m back working. My unemployment came out to sixty percent of my old pay but is less than forty of my new pay and with the bills finally coming in I need stability.

Bundle up and keep warm,

Richard Leland Neal