Last Night On Earth

2^nd January 2015

Dear Cassi,

       

I bopped off to the store this morning in the hunt for American made frying pans. The Chinese pans tend to bend under fire and I really haven’t tried pans from any other country. Pickle had two pans that started to peal leaving black flakes in his food.

       

I found my American pans and got two for him to replace those that I had deemed unsafe. When Pickle asked how much he owed me I said, “I’ll trade you the pans for more bones for Gus.”

       

Seeing as the dog had only one more day in this world Pickle agreed and we went off to have ribs. We went to a restaurant that I had introduced him to in historic up town and both had a full rack of baby back ribs.

       

Stuffed to near bursting we came home, and I fed the old dog who wagged his stump of a tail. I went to sleep knowing that my old dog’s last night on earth would be a happy one and then I cried. I cried for Gus and my old lab Pork Chop, and my little tuxedo cat Hyde. I cried for my calico Cheshire and my Russian Blue Swift. I cried one tear for each pet I’ve lost in the last ten years. Then I told myself I had no right to cry.

       

Exhausted, I fell to sleep and woke not long before now. I’m off to work before I give my old Gus is last load on bones and tuck him in one last time.

Moments are priceless, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

Only the Guilty

27^th September 2013

Dear Cassi,

      

I was roused today by Pickle saying that a woman who lives down the street had found a dead cat that they believed belonged to me. He took this to mean Hyde, and I asked him to get the location of the body for my inspection. I drew from bed in a numb way and seeing Caramel un-impacted by the supposed loss of his brother I took to learn the truth before believing.

      

As I left my door I found Hyde coming from under my car and lifting this beloved animal to my shoulder showed Pickle that he was very much alive. With some relief I went to see what cat they had meant and found a long dead animal on my neighbor’s property.

      

It was a large, black and white, long harried cat who I had seen from time to time. The body was unmarred by predation and the animal appeared to have died right where it lay.

      

This was a cryptic reminder of the world we live in. Could it have been that my neighbor killed this animal? Had it died of drinking some car fluid? Who knows? Only the guilty.

Stay safe, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

A Small Soul

Little Moo shortly after being adopted. You can 

see the mucus coming from her mouth and 

staining the fur on her shoulder.

10^th December 2015

Dear Cassi,

A small soul has laid to rest this day for the very last time. My black and white cat, Little Moo, has breathed her last. I knew it would be soon as the infection in her jaw proved incurable. No matter how many antibiotics I gave her the mucus would return.

Yesterday morning I found that instead of a green lining round the little cats mouth there was a fiery red expanse. For the last month I had been trying to treat her with flea spray and it had done no good so it was at this moment I had no choice but to bathe her.

I remember the vet having said I should think of putting her down. It didn’t feel right. She was a tough girl and deserved every second of life she could fight through. So I took my sick cat and gave her a warm bath than sat with her for an hour or two rubbing the water from her fur.

She purred to me as the three remaining kittens sat at my feet. As the poor cat dried she seemed to strengthen, and so I put her to bed in the back bathroom where she has always slept.

This morning I gave her the pain medication and found she could hardly move on her own. There was little I could do and I had to take Pickle to his appointment. I got home and slept. I steel keep the hours I kept when I had a job sleeping mostly during the day. I’m not sure why, I just feel more active at night.

Little Moo on antibiotics looking like a normal healthy animal.

When I woke at six in the evening I checked and found the cat dead. Little Moo still had her eyes open and look little different from her state in life save that her body was cold. I picked her up and held her for a long moment hoping that I was wrong, hoping that there was some life left in the frail form, but I found none.

Did I do the right thing, Cassi? I found that cat half starved to death in a parking lot. I took months getting her to trust me and then taking her home only to have to earn her trust over and over again.

In the end I could do little to save the frail cat, but was she so much better off in my home and not in that parking lot? I did my best for that little creature and here she is no different in the end.

So you tell me, did I do the right thing?

Richard Leland Neal

Misfortunes in a Heap - Socrates