Love for Pools

2^nd June 2015

Dear Cassi,

I’ve always had a love for pools which is no wonder in the state of California because of the heat, but did I ever tell you about the pool I had as a kid? It was one of those above ground jobs with steel sides and an uneven bottom. I loved that pool. I would come home from school and jump in wearing nothing but my jockeys and for most of my young life the water went up to my chin making me prance around.

I did very little swimming, but I loved the water so that I would just do laps walking from one end of the pool to the other. There was a time that the pool was heated, but the heater broke, and then we took it apart. I remember it being full of dust and old plastic bracelets. The base had been made of loose red bricks which became toys once unearthed.   

I used to build temples and army bases of those old bricks. A few I crushed back into dust, but why I couldn’t tell you. I never knew how sick my mother was until I was nine, and she never had the time to be there for me. I remember my happiest moments as a child being alone with my thoughts. I was a world onto myself back then and in a way we all are now.

You can figure that’s part of my keeping to myself now days, but there is much more to it than that condition. In the darkness of our lives we should let our mind grow distinguished and wise but keep our hearts young and able.

Well, one day I came home to find the side of my pool burst open and the back lawn teaming with insects floating in the chlorinated water. That was the worst day of my life at that point, but I didn’t know it yet.

Know what you have, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

Future for Our Youth - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sharing Grief

21^st November 2011

Dear Cassi,

   

So now I have written about the day my mother gave up on life and the day death claimed her. Now another moment, if you will permit me, is my return to school after the funeral.

   

It was a Monday, I will never forget that, and I attended class thinking that the world would go on. By this time I had turned ten, and at ten I was no wiser than I was at nine. Now I believe we put so much into the time of death that it is harder for us to return to our lives, but at the time I was unprepared for what would happen.

   

My mother’s death was terrible not that in it happened, but in those things that happened because of its happening. This would be the first of those sad events. I entered the class room thinking that all would be as it was when my 5^th grade teacher called me to the front.

   

She told me, with the whole class watching, that if I needed to excuse myself to cry I could. I told her that I felt there would be no need for that, and to my surprise she broke down at that moment. She fell into my arms, and I as a young man had no idea how to react.

   

In my confusion I patted her on the back not truly understanding what was happening. I still fail to understand why she was overwhelmed by emotion. Why my own pain was felt so strongly by others I cannot say, but I assure you it didn’t help things.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal