Who Should Decide

29^th October 2014

Dear Cassi,

         

I’ve been working on my webcomic “Jonny American” after some years of posting nothing, and I’ve started him over. Now Jonny is a fourteen year old starting high school.

         

This wakened an odd memory how a decision that changed my life back in nineteen ninety four. I recall that we got a letter from the school district mentioning that I had the option of going to a different school. My parental guardian asked if I wanted to make the switch and as a fourteen year old I said no.

         

He never gave me the options of considered the reasons why one school may have been better than the other. This was the choice between Whittier High School and Pioneer. The first was a larger school with better funding and older buildings. It was a crumbling wreck but had better programs. The other was the school by the freeway that my siblings had gone to and so was the one I attended.

         

I’m not sure if my life would have been that different had I gone to Whittier High. What I am sure of is that a fourteen year old isn’t all that equipped to make that call. I wasn’t the brightest of all children, that for sure, but few at that age could have come to the right decision.

         

Its one of those things, Cassi, in a minute long conversation my life changed with no fanfare or pomp. That was the world I lived in back then. It was a world where no one gave me much consideration.  At fourteen years of age I had already become that extra bit that could have just been cut off.

         

I know my life would have been different had I gone to a different school, but I see no point in speculation. We cannot turn back time, we cannot change the past, all we can do is look forward and hope.

Know who’s important, little sister,

Richard Leland Neal

Thankful to be a Father - Richard Wimer

A Sad Moment

Anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows that I have had a good amount of crappie moments in my life.

Well…haven’t we all?

20^th November 2011

Dear Cassi,

   

In my last letter I told you about the day my mother died in spirit. Now it would be only write to tell you of the day she died in body.

   

I recall that day rather well. I was coming home from school with a cross word puzzle as home work and dreading it but looking forward to an in class film on Friday. I arrive home before the other children and found my father sitting on the couch and told him that I needed to bring something in do drink during the film.

   

He looked at me and said “you’re not going to school Friday.”

   

I asked why, and he told me “because that’s the day of your mother’s funeral.” Little did he know that I had come to terms with this inevitable event. In truth, I would not have wished my mother even one more second of the suffering she had felt waiting to die in that room.

   

I recall before the funeral the old man saying “I keep expecting someone to call and tell me this is all just a big mistake.” I couldn’t understand why he would say that given current events, but now I think he was just being selfish. He didn’t want the burden of looking after his children.

   

I remember that we went back to my grade school to tell them what had happen so they would know why I was absent. The school knew well my mother’s condition, and my absence would have made them worry. One of the things I knew even then was that even the horrible truth is better than not knowing.

   

I didn’t cry that day, because I felt there was no reason. If I knew what lie ahead of me that day I would have, I would have broken down and asked to be buried with my mother. Still, at least I know that one day there will be peace ahead of me.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal

Always Watching - Robert Fulghum