10th
April 2012
Dear Cassi,
Yesterday I told you of the one time I was
given detention. If it had ended there I think I would have forgotten the whole
thing by now. No this was an illustration of the failed support network that I
had as a young man.
I took this issue to Alan who, as my
guardian, had the responsibility to defend my interest. First, the old man made
a dirty joke. “Look, Rick, there are only so many times I can sleep with your
teachers to get you out of trouble.” Making my problems a perverted joke was a
bad idea for a man who earned his Master’s in psychology.
Then the old pervert said that I should
pick my battles and that the principal was in the business of being in charge.
I think the reason why this stuck with me is that I had a person I was to call
‘Dad’ who refused to look after my interests. It’s a cold feeling to know so
much injustice and be so unable to defend yourself.
That empty spot in my chest where family
should be over the years filled with ice. I have always been a cold man, but I
am so because it is who I needed to be to live in this world.
As an epilogue, I never served detention as
I arrived for it and was told I could leave. The darkness and the dim of my
life is not without those points of light we would call stars.
I still am without the knowledge of why I
was paroled. Did that fellow know of my character or did he know of the
misconduct of his superiors? The truth is unknown.
Stay strong, little sister
Richard Leland Neal
