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Sunday, December 4, 2011

A Sad Moment

Anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows that I have had a good amount of crappie moments in my life.

Well…haven’t we all?
20th November 2011
Dear Cassi,
In my last letter I told you about the day my mother died in spirit. Now it would be only write to tell you of the day she died in body.
I recall that day rather well. I was coming home from school with a cross word puzzle as home work and dreading it but looking forward to an in class film on Friday. I arrive home before the other children and found my father sitting on the couch and told him that I needed to bring something in do drink during the film.
He looked at me and said “you’re not going to school Friday.”
I asked why, and he told me “because that’s the day of your mother’s funeral.” Little did he know that I had come to terms with this inevitable event. In truth, I would not have wished my mother even one more second of the suffering she had felt waiting to die in that room.
I recall before the funeral the old man saying “I keep expecting someone to call and tell me this is all just a big mistake.” I couldn’t understand why he would say that given current events, but now I think he was just being selfish. He didn’t want the burden of looking after his children.
I remember that we went back to my grade school to tell them what had happen so they would know why I was absent. The school knew well my mother’s condition, and my absence would have made them worry. One of the things I knew even then was that even the horrible truth is better than not knowing.
I didn’t cry that day, because I felt there was no reason. If I knew what lie ahead of me that day I would have, I would have broken down and asked to be buried with my mother. Still, at least I know that one day there will be peace ahead of me.

Stay safe, Cassi,

Richard Leland Neal